A Nebraska Woman Is Suing Every Homosexual Ever in Federal Court

A 66-year-old Nebraska woman — the self-appointed legal counsel and "ambassador" for "God, and His Son, Jesus Christ" — has filed a lawsuit against all the gay men and women of planet Earth, NBC News reports. 

Sylvia Ann Driskell is asking a federal judge to rule that the defendants ("Homosexuals") are acting in defiance of "religious and moral laws," in a case filed as Driskell v. Homosexuals.

Driskell cites a number of Bible verses and "the Webster Dictionary" in her complaint, which is composed in neat, cursive handwriting across seven pages of loose-leaf paper. In it, she argues that "homosexuality is a sin and that they the homosexuals know it is a sin to live a life of homosexuality. Why else would they have been hiding in the closet. (sic)"

This, one gathers, is a rhetorical question. Whether and how exactly the judge answers the broader cretinism — federal courts do not claim jurisdiction in religious matters, nor do they hold any binding sway in a sad, middle-aged bigot's imagination — remains to be seen.

"I never thought that I would see a day in which our great nation or our own great state of Nebraska would become so compliant to the complicity of some people (sic) lewd behavior," Driskell laments in her complaint. 

You can lament the rest of it right here: