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Taken 2 Movie Review and Trailer: Liam Neeson is an Idiot for Bringing His Daugther to Istanbul

I’m not an expert at this, so any scholars in the medical or biological fields are invited to correct me if I’m wrong. But, the way I understand, humans have inside their ears something called the vestibular system, the purpose of which being to provide us with equilibrioception, or the sense of balance. 

Equilibrioception is what prevents you from falling on your face every time you take a step forward, and, among its other functions, it also stabilizes the images we sense with our eyes so we have a steady picture of the outside world despite all the constant wibble-wobble of our bodies. What that means is that, when a pretentious director tries to convey realism in his films with jiggling shaky cams, he’s absolutely full of crap, because that’s not how we perceive reality.

I’m talking to you, Olivier Megaton, director of Taken 2. Your name may be bangin,’ but you’re absolutely full of crap.

Taken 2, as the name subtly implies, is the second installment in the Taken series, which hit theaters this weekend. The series is all about an ex-CIA guy (Liam Neeson), who gets involved in several kidnappey situations involving his family and has to Jason Bourne his way out of them.

This time around, after having saved his daughter (Maggie Grace) from Central European sex slavers in the first film, ex-CIA guy decides that it would be a great idea to take her and his ex-wife (Famke Janssen) to Turkey, a country in walking distance from the smugglers’ native Albania. For that, he is a hot contender for the Nobel Prize of Being the Biggest Brain Genius of the World.

As expected, he is punished for his idiocy by having the chief of the Albanian Mafia (Rade Šerbed

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