"Je suis to be kidding me?"
After giving a poignant tribute to the Charlie Hebdo attacks last week, Jon Stewart finally found something to mock on Monday's show: Sunday's unity rally in Paris, where millions of French citizens and nearly 40 world leaders marched in what Stewart called the "most powerful game of Red Rover" ever.
But there was something missing Sunday, Stewart noticed: someone from the United States.
"How could the U.S. not be there when representatives of such beacons of freedom and lack of censorship as journalist-punishing Russia was there?" Stewart wondered. "Journalist-jailing Turkey was there. Egypt — enough said. Palestinian cartoonist-jailing Israel was there. And of course, our greatest ally, Saudi Arabia was there, although a little out of breath having just days ago flogged a blogger."
Granted, U.S. Attorney General Eric Holder was in Paris during the time of the march, but he didn't show up because he was "probably taking advantage of the shortest lines in tourist history," Stewart quipped.
Stewart mocked the news that Secretary of State John Kerry would finally show up sometime later this week. That only left him with the eye-rolling response of "Je suis to be kidding me?"