Nobody has less sex than A-list Hollywood starlet Jennifer Lawrence.
"It's really sad," she said. "I haven't felt the touch of a man... in... [spontaneously bursts into a fit of laughter at the absurd notion of her being remotely sexually active]."
This is not the first time Lawrence has joked about the cobwebs that are allegedly taking up space in her vagina. She let a Vogue writer into her bedroom last November, only to reveal that she hadn't gotten laid in so long that she was on the precipice of a full revirginization.
"Literally zero magic has happened in here," she told the fashion mag. "Cheers to my hymen growing back!"
And now the revirginization process seems to be complete. Earlier this month, she even asked a Harper's Bazaar interviewer, "Sex? Someone explain to me what it is."
Poor J-Law! She's so lucky, she's a star. But she cries, cries, cries in her lonely heart.