Thanksgiving 2012: Brace Yourself for the Nightmare of Travel Delays

Thanksgiving is a time for everyone to go home to their families, which is why we love it so much. But that also means that everyone is traveling all at once, so airports, train stations, and bus terminals are magically transformed into little patches of Hell on Earth.

Just getting around New York City will be extra difficult because of preparations for the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. And when you try to leave the city, it only gets worse. All roads out of the city, including the George Washington, Throgs Neck, and Verrazano Bridges, the Long Island and Van Wyck Expressways, the Grand Central and Belt Parkways, and the New Jersey Turnpike, are all expected to have delays of 60 to 90 minutes, DNAinfo reports.

If this year is anything like every year that’s come before, expect Grand Central, Penn Station, and Port Authority to resemble clearance sales at bridal shops. Just make sure you don’t trip and fall, or you may well be trampled to death by a holiday traveler who’s so desperate to escape the swarming cesspool that is a travel hub the day before Thanksgiving that they don’t notice the difference between your screaming face and the floor as they stomp on it.

And as if all of that weren't enough, flights out might be delayed by extreme rain and wind, according to AccuWeather. In short, if you plan on getting anywhere, add a couple of hours into your travel time, and pack a few extra Xanax.

Considering all of the travails of holiday travels, I’m beginning to understand why the night before Thanksgiving is an even bigger drinking night than New Year’s Eve or Saint Patrick’s Day.