Stephen Colbert Fails Vetting Process To Become Next Senator from S.C.

A senate seat is opening up in South Carolina and Stephen Colbert was topping the list as a potential candidate, until the governor vetted him.

South Carolina Governor Nikki Haley will be appointing the next senator, to replace outgoing Senator Jim DeMint. According to at least one poll, the comedian and host of The Colbert Show, Stephen Colbert, was the solid favorite. However, on Thursday, Haley released a vetting document with many red flags that will likely derail his chances. Here are the highlights:

Strike 1: Colbert’s behavior as a public official would have been unseemly. He once publicly claimed that he would “stumble [around the state capital] pantless with a bottle of Jack Daniels and try to get arrested.”

Strike 2: Colbert’s loyalties and patriotism are in question. In remarks at the South Carolina International Trade Conference, Colbert said, “For all intents and purposes, I am here representing Iran.”

Strike 3: Colbert is a hypocrite with a personal grudge against the Governor. On December 10, 2012, he claimed that Haley should be disqualified for office for not being able to name the state amphibian. However, several years before, Colbert didn’t know it either. In an interview with Tim Russert on Meet the Press, he claimed the state amphibian was “my dog, Cookie. She swims, and she goes on land.”

It’s hard to survive a vetting process these days, even for a distinguished figure such as Colbert.