Grammys Impose New Dress Code for Performers and Attendees

Gone are the days of all of the see-through, side-slit, and crotch-strap dresses that made the red carpet such a scandalous and thought-provoking affair. Take a look at this memo hat was released yesterday regarding a new dress code at the Grammys:

“Date: February 5, 2013, 10:39:56 PM EST

Subject: 55th GRAMMYS: Standard And Practice Wardrobe Advisory

-kindly confirm receipt of s&p standards-

***GRAMMYS 2013***

CBS Program Practices advises that all talent appearing on camera please adhere to Network policy concerning wardrobe.

Please be sure that buttocks and female breasts are adequately covered. Thong type costumes are problematic. Please avoid exposing bare fleshy under curves of the buttocks and buttock crack. Bare sides or under curvature of the breasts is also problematic. Please avoid sheer see-through clothing that could possibly expose female breast nipples. Please be sure the genital region is adequately covered so that there is no visible “puffy” bare skin exposure...” (Souce: Deadline)

No “visible puffy bare skin exposure”? No “buttock cracks”? This is just plain un-American.

It’s unclear what has caused this backlash. We have 9 years between Janet Jackson’s infamous Super Bowl flashjob and now, with nothing but good memories in-between.

Here is a great retrospective of all the fleshiest moments in Grammy history, put together by the guys at Smoking Section.

Yes, this red carpet awards will be a bland and elegant one this year—*sigh*. I’ll still be covering it moment for moment.

Tune in and log on right here at 7pm EST tomorrow night for the pre-festivities and at 8 pm for the actual awards. I'll be here live and in the flesh text (No flesh! No "female breast nipples"). See you.