1. Shaq Fu vs. the Round Mound:
2. The Wrath of Steph:
Widely considered this year’s biggest All-Star snub, look for Stephen Curry to come out blazing at the 3-point contest. His quick release jumper and pinpoint accuracy makes him one of the "wettest" shooters in the league today. Plus, he’s got to have a chip on his shoulder for not making the Western Conference squad. Be afraid.
3. Justin Bieber Breaking Ankles (Retrospectively, Of Course):
He’s not competing this year, but Biebs showed us a "Nashty" crossover at 2012’s Celebrity Game. Look for this video to make an appearance at some point tonight. It’ll make you a Belieber, if you’re not one already.
4. The Finger Wag:
5. Kevin Garnett in His Last All-Star Game:
Love him or hate him, KG’s NBA resume is undeniable. It’ll be sad to never see him in an All-Star uniform again, but we hope that he’ll at least leave us with one more trash talking gem. Anything is possible.
6. Uncle Drew Being Uncle Drew:
Kyrie Irving, a.k.a. Uncle Drew, has showed us all season why he’s one of the best future superstars in this league. Look for him to continue his dominance in both the Rising Stars Game (where he won MVP honors last year) and the All-Star Game itself, where he’ll replace Rajon Rondo in the Eastern Conference starting lineup.
7. Being Disappointed By the Dunk Contest (Again):
There are literally hundreds of reasons to dread this year’s Dunk Contest. Whether it be the inevitable use of preposterous gimmicks or the fact that few people have any idea who these competitors are, this competition will make you yearn for the good ol’ days. Remember when Jordan used to win this thing in the 80s? Me neither, but I bet it was amazing.
8. Mozgov Getting "Mozgov’d"?:
Poor Timofey Mozgov. This guy gets posterized so often that his last name has become a verb*. There’s no reason why one, if not all, of the Dunk Contest participants shouldn’t incorporate him as a prop in their high-flying antics.
*Mozgov (v.) - to get dunked on in a brutal, humiliating fashion (ex: “That dude just got Mozgov’d”)