Oscar shock: Anne Hathaway wins best supporting actress

Chris Pine and Zoe Saldana present the awards no one even pretends to care about so they get their own mini-ceremomy.

I should have bet money that Ted would show up. People at my party are asking how he's there. The word midget is being bandied about.

(Now I'm glad I didn't make a comment about the Sci Tech Awards being the short bus riders of the Oscars. That would have been way too much political incorrectness all at once).

Actually, screw it. Short bus. Short bus. Short bus. After that Jews in Hollywood schtick, I think I'm good.

A tie for sound editing. Zero Dark Thirty and Skyfall.

I love the Jaws music as the "stop talking now" music.

"I told you... you start with the Jewish jokes..." - overheard, re: Sound of Music Nazi character moment.

Christopher Plummer presents Best Supporting Actress. He is the sexiest octogenarian ever.

Anne Hathaway looks even more like Gollum in Les Mis than Natalie Portman did in Black Swan. That must be the key to Oscars gold.

All my party can talk about are her nipples.

"It came true..." Anne as she cradles her Oscar. I guess she dreamed a dream she won. I dreamed a dream I didn't have to hear another earnest speech. I hope to God Jennifer Lawrence wins and brings a little sass to balance it out.