Roger Ailes Biography: Filled With Lies and Propaganda

Roger Ailes, CEO of Fox News Network and rumored* Alfred Hitchcock RPGer, is the subject of a new biography by Zev Chafets. The book is called Roger Ailes: Off Camera and it details Ailes’ rise to power. Chafets was reportedly hand picked by Fox to write the unauthorized biography which could explain the books generous depiction of the media mogul. Here is a sneak peak into the man, the myth, the legend, Roger Ailes.

Ailes firmly believes that President Obama hates working. “Obama’s the one who never worked a day in his life. He never earned a penny that wasn’t public money. He’s lazy, but the media won’t report that.” The only reason the media won’t report that Roger, is because it isn’t true. It’s also racist. 

On a political partisan scale test where 0 is the most conservative and 100 is liberal; Roger scored a 25. His serious conservative credentials don’t stop him from being good friends with the Kennedy’s and Rachel Maddow. Yes, according to Ailes, he and Rachel Maddow are BFFs. 

He hates environmentalists and unions ... a lot. “I want clean water and clean air and conservation … that’s not what extreme environmentalists are all about. For them, it is a religion. They believe in trees and animals, not God.” I am positive that is exactly what “extreme environmentalists” are about. Also, environmentalists don’t need to “believe” in trees and animals because they actually exist. 

On Joe Biden, Ailes has a soft spot. “I like him. But he’s dumb as an ashtray.” Yes, like when the big-dumb-dumb helped author that stupid Violence Against Women Act. I will never forget when he idiotically sponsored a resolution to send UN peacekeepers to Darfur. What a numbnut. 

When Ailes was asked about the kinds of donations he made he told Chavets that he donates ten percent of his income each year. He said he would be happy to give money to Muslim Charities, if they would only disarm. I’m sure Ailes thought that was clever, but tying all Muslim charities to terrorists organizations isn’t funny, just Islampahobic.

Ailes and Fox gave Chafets unprecedented access but with that access came the expectation that Chafets would go easy on Ailes, and that’s exactly what he did. This isn’t an actual biography so much as it is a series of lies and quotes bound together by the thinnest possible amount of journalistic integrity. 

*I started this rumor.