17 Facts About Dos Equis' "Most Interesting Man in the World"

Culture

“The Most Interesting Man In The World” (TMIM) continues to garner a huge amount of attention from the PolicyMic community. He is an enigma with great powers and accomplishments; a large number of them have been elucidated on this site. It’s time we dig deeper and become more familiar with TMIM.

I’ve done some research into TMIM’s background and offer the following seventeen facts that should make clearer who this man really is. The most important revelation is that I have proof that he is a direct descendant of several prophets.

1. TMIM has a way with the ladies. He enjoys the company of the most intelligent and beautiful women across the globe.

2. TMIM is a great athlete even at his advanced age. He won Olympic medals in three sports: wrestling, weightlifting, and badminton.

3. TMIM is a true daredevil. He skydives from airplanes, bungee jumps from the tallest bridges and buildings, and hunts the most dangerous animals around the world.

4. TMIM continues to be a fabulously good-looking man, far more mature and cooler than James Bond. He dresses impeccably, and his stylist is always at his side.

5. TMIM has always sported facial hair, a full beard, a goatee, or at least a two2-inch wide moustache.

6. TMIM holds advanced degrees in science, mathematics, and art history from the most prestigious universities on several continents. Annually, he turns down invitations to receive honorary degree from numerous educational institutions.

7. TMIM speaks no less than seven languages including a few that are not spoken today such as Latin and Aramaic.

8. TMIM has a voracious appetite and is able to consume multiple-course meals and drink several bottles of wine every night without any consequences the following morning. He has never vomited in his life after consuming alcohol.

9. TMIM practices all major religions and prays to God in many ways. He an expert in Christian, Jewish, Muslim, and Hindi dogma and regularly reads each of the holy books daily.

10. TMIM is a speed-reader capable of assimilating voluminous tomes in a matter of minutes. Additionally, he reads many newspapers each day and completes the crossword puzzles in different languages.

11. TMIM feels obligated to document his exploits in memoirs for the betterment of mankind. To this point, he has written over 5,000 pages of the most beautifully scripted prose.

12. TMIM has sired many children with scores of different women. He has no time to concern himself with marriage and long-term commitments. It is imperative that his DNA impacts a wide swathe of people globally for the benefit of the species.

13. TMIM has never used public transportation. He owns several aircraft and has limos on call in most major to service his needs. Has not touched a steering wheel in over two decades.

14. TMIM remains in outstanding physical condition. It is unnecessary for him to exercise to stay fit. He has summited the ten highest mountain peaks in the world.

15. TMIM can read lips, which complements his superior hearing and eyesight.

16. TMIM is the richest man in the world. He is an honorary director of over 100 companies.

17. TMIM has been awarded four Nobel prizeds in different categories and turned down each of them because he had previous engagements on the award nights.

TMIM is someone we should all aspire to emulate. Many do and even though he remains in good health, many around the world have begun to grieve now in anticipation of his death in future years.