After New York Jets' Introductory Press Conference, Tim Tebow Dives Into Big Apple Temptations

Culture

After officially meeting the city that never sleeps in his first press conference as a New York Jet, former Denver Broncos QB Tim Tebow will now meet the temptations offered by the city that never sleeps....

“Then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the desert to be tempted by the devil. After fasting for forty days and forty nights, He was hungry…”

Matthew 4:1

Attention has shifted to the cultural clash between the sober, virgin and bible-thumping athlete and all the temptations offered to a 24 year-old multi-millionaire by the city that never sleeps. Here are the 5 New York City temptations Tim Tebow needs to be wary of:

5. Women

From country-music beauty Taylor Swift, to freaky mega pop star Lady Gaga, to lovely Dianna Agron, Big Apple ladies are already lining up for the chance at breaking into the wholesome and testosterone-fueled jock. Expect lots of tabloid-style gossip and red-carpet photos at Tebow-attended Sunday Mass as well as galas at the Metropolitan Museum and New York Fashion Week.

4. Nightlife

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Self-professed abstemious Tim Tebow will have at his disposal all the booze and excitement that New York City’s nightlife has to offer 7 days a week, with its world-class DJs, concerts, performances and so on. Furthermore, “Timsanity’s” rock star status already has nightclub and bar owners, tenders and doormen rushing to create non-alcoholic versions of their signature drinks as they salivate at the publicity gold mine of having good boy Tebow gone bad in their venues.

3. Gay Life

Though it is easy to assume Evangelical Tebow is opposed to homosexuality, the athlete has been smart enough not to comment on this and other cultural hot bottom issues that divide America these days. And though he probably won’t be attending gay weddings in City Hall any time soon, expect him to become an icon to the Big Apple’s LGBT community through Tebow-themed gay parties and plenty of double-meaning locker room jokes.

2. Scandals

Sex-scandals are as New Yorker as the Empire State building and the yellow cabs. Less righteous and equally famous men, such as former governor Eliot Spitzer and former Democratic congressman Anthony Weiner have seen their careers ended amid sex scandals perpetrated hubris inflicted scandals. Will Tebow be next?

1. Power

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Just like the devil himself brought Jesus to the top of the highest mountain to promise him all the world’s palaces and richness in exchange for worship, Donald Trump might bring Tebow to the top of any of his New York’s Trump Towers to promise him everything from a spot in the next NBC’s Celebrity Apprentice to a job in a potential Donald Trump White House. Will he accept?

What other New York City temptations of Tim Tebow can you think of?