How to Approach Women in New York City

You are out with friends, walking down the street, or buying coffee. You see/hear/smell/feel a woman whose mere presence makes you nervous. Your heart-rate speeds up, you smile stupidly to yourself, and your hands start sweating. 

The various scenarios start playing out in your head (on fast-forward of course): How should I approach? Should I flash her a subtle smile? Extend an awkward invitation to shake hands? Maybe go straight in for the make-out?

Guys, take a deep breath and repeat after me: Be brave, be bold, and be willing to get embarrassed.

New York City has many attributes: museums, schools, bars, concert halls, theatres restaurants, and sporting venues. But, all of these would be less fun if it weren’t for their main attractions: the beautiful women. 

Our great city is an oasis of beautiful females: short, tall, pale, dark, round, narrow, and everything in between. They are here, there are there, they are gosh-darn everywhere.

So how should us guys go about meeting them? Use the internet? Wrong. (Said in a Charlie Murphy accent.) Troll a popular bar at 2 a.m.? Very Wrong.

Keep it simple: When you see one that you like, BBBW (Be Brave Bold and Willing) and go up and talk to her.

Unless you are George Clooney’s little bro or have a labrador puppy in your arms, she probably hasn’t noticed you. So, unless you act, she probably never will. Here’s your simple strategy:

1) Take a Deep Breath

2) Put your hands in your pockets (because they are sweating)

3) Walk up to her (not from behind because that is creepy)

4) Wait until she notices you (looks at you with her eyes)

5) Say hello, my name is “Schmo!” (your silly name here)

If she smiles, then you’ve made a new friend. You can ask her for her name, email address, and favorite color. What you do after that will be covered in part two of this series.

But what about if she doesn’t smile? If she makes you feel like you are the next in line at the DMV, then abort mission, and walk away fast. Have no shame, you can’t win them all. And fear not, you’ll most likely fall in love all over again, and in no time. 

Guys, tell me your best and worst horror stories about trying to approach women, and I’ll give you my advice about how to proceed.

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Francois Wilson

As a New Yorker I have an open mind and try to be as thoughtful as possible. With an American dad and European mom I have different perspectives than some, but am always looking to learn new things and meet new people.

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