How Should Millennials Fall in Love? Perspective From a Member of the Divorce Generation

The concept of love is something I think about from time to time; most often during my various walk of shames, as I believe these little strolls are the most ideal time for reflecting and thought gathering. 

I think about the relationships of those in my family, my friends, and even those that are portrayed on television shows and in the movies. While growing up, an overwhelming majority of us in Generation Y were raised to believe that there is one person you are meant for and that was that. Most often, there was “the one that got away,” which was typically a high school or college love – a first love, so to speak.

But am I that jaded, already, at 23 years-old, to believe what we have been raised to believe is a complete crock of shit? I’ve been in love and fallen out of it. I long for a steady and stable relationship with another, but if that does not happen, I’m OK with it. Or, at least in my 20s, I am OK with it right now. 

We as a generation do not need to lock down on one individual and be done with it. If you stay together for the rest of your life? Awesome. If you fall out of love? Embrace it. Don’t cheat, don’t stick around and bicker, and don’t waste your damn time in a relationship that’s turning sour by the moment.

Much like the generations before us, no matter how we try to fight it, we are a youth consumed by status, power, and reputation. Our personal relationships and our partner are an extension of ourselves, and our mentality is often, “oh shit, if people see my long term relationship is coming to an end, what are they going to think of me?” Well, honestly, who gives a hell?

I’ll let you in on a little secret; most of the time, people are too worried thinking about themselves to give you a second guess, so just do your thing.

Maybe, as humans, we are meant to have a variety of long term relationships. Ten years here, five years there, maybe 15 years down the line. I think that by opening up yourself to the possibly of a plethora of relationships and individuals, you will ultimately meet the one you were “meant for,” or, that you believe you were meant for.

There are a couple billion people in the world. If you believe that there is only one true love out there for you, that’s great, and I’m not going to knock you. But, then again, think of the past 100 years of “modern love,” not only in the United States, but the entire world. What are the odds that most individuals have ended up with someone from their same hometown or city, within a couple of years of each other, with the same religious beliefs, typically the same nationality and race, and on and on and on. With this considered, this concept does not make sense, at least for me.

In my opinion, this life and your happiness may be all there is, so make it the best you can. Like most people, I would enjoy an awesome long term relationship, but for a generation like ours -- which I hope will crank out some movers and shakers and changers -- the relationships that may work the best for us may be what works for us right now.

Be open, be free, and if it’s done, call it quits. And above all, know that any form of love will find you once you are at acceptance with yourself and allow all individuals to pursue the ones they love; no matter their respective race, gender, or religious background.