The Awkwardness of Online Dating Pickup Lines, in 7 Valentine's Day Cards

Dating is supposed to be romantic, right? 

Lucky for us, the heralded era of online dating has somehow managed to make the act of courtship as unromantic as possible. Clunky, plodding, awkward and utterly charmless most of the time. And that bizarre experience can be perfectly summed up in the opening lines.

A perfect online dating opening line should be benign enough to not scare off its target, but flirty enough to express interest. The words should offer enough material for a response, yet not so much as to overwhelm the target. Opening lines should be sweet, inviting and charming.

In reality, most people's opening "pickup" lines are exactly what you would never say to someone in real life — including these real messages, from actual OkCupid interactions. Happy Valentine's Day, people.

Oh so irresistible.  

How sweet?

Just picture someone saying this in real life.

Thanks but no thanks. 

What does this even mean?

Please, no.

Great, now I just feel bad.

Dating's just oh so romantic, right?