"Nothing about dinosaurs is suitable for children, from their total lack of family values through to their non-existence from any serious scientific point of view."
That's what a Christian mother wrote on a message board, in case you thought the Internet couldn't become any weirder. The mother's protest has gone viral, garnering the world's collective side-eye with a bizarre rant about dinosaurs that's so weird it sounds like a hoax.
The writer, who goes by the screen name CADministry (which stands for "Christians Against Dinosaurs Ministry," and has a Facebook presence), said she's concerned about the "pretty flimsy" science of the our extinct friends and is "getting sick and tired of dinosaurs being forced on our children."
She claims that Charles Darwin disproved the existence of dinosaurs (that isn't true, according to unearthed papers) and says they were invented by "curio-hungry Victorians." The author also claims that dinosaurs set a bad example, citing this groovy anecdote:
At my children's school, several children were left in tears after one of their classmates (who had evidently been exposed to dinosaurs), became bestially-minded and ran around the classroom roaring and pretending to be a dinosaur. Then he bit three children on the face. One poor girl has been left with a severely dented nose and the whole class was left traumatized by this horrible display.
It sounds like that kid needed some Adderall, not a trip to the Creation Museum.
The message turns even weirder, as the woman says she's against toy dinosaurs too. Her sister gave her those toys for Christmas and then ordered her out of the house and then burnt them. "My children were delighted because they know that dinosaurs are evil. I am fortunate that my family has been very supportive, and has disowned my children's former aunt," she writes.
She ends the post with a reasonable call to action:
Please, do what you can to get dinosaurs taken off the curriculum. Our school has been recently presented with a 214-signature petition, and following that and our recent protest the headmaster has said that he will take it the governors. We are lucky that he is so sympathetic to our cause, but I fear that others may not be.
She's rallying her troops on her 5,000-strong Facebook page, which is sadly locked so we can't see the dinosaur propaganda packets she's peddling. Her devotion doesn't stop on Mumsnet, which is a known troll-depository. There's a YouTube channel too.
One video of hers she dispels the "myth" of fossils. "It's actually a bone that was once in the ground that has then been filled with limestone, calcium, and other kind of stone-like deposits ... and at the end of the day, it's a rock made out of rocks," she says.
She claims the first fossil ever to be found was after "they came up with the idea of a dinosaur." Perhaps she needs to read up on her How Stuff Works explanation of what fossils are and when they were "actually" discovered.
We can't tell if this is a hoax, clever marketing for the new Jurassic World film or the craziest mom in history.