Want to Get Laid in England? Here Are the Right Words To Say

Want to Get Laid in England? Here Are the Right Words To Say

"Fancy a snog, hen?"

No, it's not a line from an unpublished Dr. Seuss book. Actually, it's fairly common British slang.

Translation: "Do you want to make out?"

While we may all technically speak the same language, North Americans and Brits have amusingly different ways of saying certain things, distinctions that become even more confusing (and hilarious) when it comes to sex and dating.

In an effort to bring some cultural harmony across the pond, here are a few terms to help decipher that British charm. Your newly-international Tinder will thank you. 

"He was trying it on with me."

What it means: "He was hitting on me." If someone in the UK tells you they were trying it on at the pub, they're likely not talking about their fashion choices. It's a way of saying they were hitting on someone or chatting them up, albeit a little more slyly.

"You might say, 'He was trying it on with me, the sleaze,'" Alex from the UK told Mic*, whereas being "chatted up" is a little less shady. Either way, "trying it on" has a bit of a nicer tinge to it than "being hit on" — especially when it comes with an accent.

"I pulled a tidy one last night."

What it means: "I hooked up with an attractive person." The goal of chatting someone up? To pull. "Pulling" in Britain is a way of saying you hooked up with someone. In fact, it's not uncommon to hear someone saying "I am going to pull tonight" or "I'm on the pull."

And when a Brit says someone's tidy, they are not referring to hygiene. That term denotes someone attractive or hot. You might also say "fit" – and not in reference to their physical fitness levels – as in, "Aye, that bird is fit." So if you pull a fit one, you had a pretty good night.

"Man, I got the best jobby."

What it means: "That was a great blowjob." This one might be self-explanatory, but Brits are prone to shortening words (though not as much as those Aussies). If someone offers you a jobby, they are not interested in your employment status.

"A guy might also say a girl 'sucked him off,'" Alex explained to Mic. It's an activity that clearly lends itself to playful abbreviations, like the North American "giving head," "BJ," and, um, a "blowie"? "I did have one boyfriend call it a blowie once," Nina, from Toronto, told Mic. "Just because you put an 'ie' on the end does not make it cute." 

"I put my knob in her fanny."

What it means: "I put my penis in her vagina." Word of warning: Referring to that accessory called a "fanny pack" will earn you some raised eyebrows in Britain. That's because fanny means vagina over there, used to refer to the actual anatomical part or, unfortunately, to be lobbed as an immature insult (e.g., "That guy is a such a fanny.").  

Knob is pretty similar. It can be used to describe a man's anatomy, and calling someone a knob is the equivalent of saying they're a dick, a phraseology Americans are more familiar with.

"He was up for a shag."

What it means: "He was totally DTF." While Jersey Shore may have made DTF a popular term in the United States, it didn't quite make it across the pond. Shag — which in Britain is most definitely not a carpet — is something you would hear a lot of. Like boff and bonk, shag is basically sex. Remember Austin Powers? Someone who is ready for sex is up for a shag. Though "UFAS" doesn't have quite the same ring to it.

"I got off last night."

What it means: "I made out with someone." Don't worry if a Brit tells you about how they got off. They're not bragging about their masturbatory habits or latest orgasm, but rather boasting about making out with someone. Basically, "getting off" is the crasser way of saying you snogged someone. 

While some people may confuse a snog with just a kiss, it's really used more to describe a proper, long kiss, tongues and all. "When you're snogging someone, you're really going for it," Jane from Scotland told Mic. Or, you know, getting off. 

"I gave her a poke." 

What it means: "I got to third base." Unshockingly, the Brits don't use the American system of baseball terminology when talking about stages of sexual activity. And no, they don't have a cricket-based system. Instead, they just refer to the act itself without the sports analogies. Novel, right?

While what the bases stand for is up for debate, third base – aka under the pants action – may be referred to as giving her a poke. "Aye, you give a girl a poke, you're fingering her," Jane told Mic.

Oh, and in Britain, "pants" can actually refer to underwear, so when someone wants some "under the pants," they really want in your underwear (or for ladies, "knickers"). Got that?

"Kate Middleton is up the duff."

What it means: "The Duchess of Cambridge is pregnant." No, the duff isn't some river in England. Being up the duff is the very British way of saying someone is pregnant, or more idiomatically, "has a bun in the oven." It may have started as Aussie slang, but the phrase has become quite popular in the UK. 

"Oh bloody hell, the Johnny split."

What it means: "Dammit, the condom broke." Don't want to be up the duff? Then be sure to wear a Johnny. No, we don't mean have your friend named Johnny lend a helping hand — Johnny is a euphemism for a condom. It's also important to note that in the UK, a rubber is an eraser, so if you ask for one of those in the drug store they'll point you to the stationery section. 

Bonus: Brits don't really have wingmen.

While a lot of Brits have someone who fit that description, the word "wingman" is not really a common one in use. "We wouldn't really use that. It's very American," Alex told Mic

So do they have their own term for it? "Nope, not really," according to Alex. Maybe Americans should take note.

* Some names have been changed to allow subjects to speak freely on private matters.