Opening Ceremony London 2012 Fashion Review: Olympic Uniforms are Hysterical

Back in Ancient times, athletes competed in the Olympics naked. We now all flinch and say “gross” or “how aerodynamically challenged.” Maybe sometimes your birthday suit is better than what crazy fashion designers want you to wear. I won’t mention Team USA’s uniform (it’s painfully preppy) but will give a more global perspective.

Historically, the country’s uniforms are a reflection of the country’s flag. However, this year, Armani took one look at the flag and decided "not this year." Italy will be sporting a more somber (or sophisticated?) black and white ensemble.

Don’t worry, because Mickey D’s not only will be serving up burgers in the Olympic Village.  China’s delegation will also be sporting some Ronald-inspired suits.

Russia’s outfits are also a Rosco creation. I like that these uniforms make a point to announce what country they are representing. Those swirly lines in the background though make me dizzy and confused...trippy

Spain is striking out on the outfit front. Remember last year’s McDonald’s motif? It is like Ed Hardy had a bad hangover on tequila and had a baby with some Anime. I think the best thing about this, is that Spain didn’t pay for them. To save some dinero Bosco offered to design and provide the gear for free. You get what you pay for. 

I fell in love with the Netherlands. I thought this was the best-dressed team; but in the end, they would take away a silver medal in outfits. I loved the combo of Orange and Blue and come on the Dutch are killing' it in these outfits.

DRUMROLL.. The best looking team by far is Jamaica. They could walk away from the Opening Ceremonies and straight into a nightclub. This outfit is fun and awesome just like the Olympics should be.

Final thoughts (alphabetically): American Samoa going tribal and braving the London chill sans shirt was a highlight. Bhutan (had to find it on a map) brought some of their local flavor, a nice change up from the standard blazer look. Czech Republic had on rain boots...shiny blue boots. Dominican Republic had balla straw hats. Egypt will be taking some heat because they supplied their athletes with Nike knock-off gear, which just makes me picture the administrators buying the gear from some guy's trunk at a market. Finland had urban camo jackets.

Germany looked great in pink and blue "summer fun jackets" with floppy white hats. Hungary's women sported some fine red dresses. Independent Olympic Athletes (yes even with all these countries some athletes don't associate with any of them) looked like they had the most fun walking in. Israel's flag bearer had a Jewish star shaved into his Mohawk. Kazakhstan had some sweet baby blue pants and maybe their real anthem will be played (and not the Borat version)

Lithuania needed to pop their neon green collars. Papua New Guinea looked fresh in some bright tropical button ups (my dad would love to wear a similar shirt). Qatar's flag bearer was a woman that is a huge step/victory for women's rights in the Middle East (some other countries also followed suit). I wanted to like the United Kingdom's uniforms, but I felt they kind of came short and looked like flight attendants.

All comments aside, what a truly wonderful opportunity to represent not only yourself but also your country. Let the Games begin.