If Tinder profiles were honest, a good number of them would read "Must love sports."
That's the frustrating reality captured by a recent Tumblr rant from a female Tinder user that's gaining wide reach over the past few weeks. It highlights the double standard women face in relationships:
Dude wants you to like his interests? He's just trying to bond. You want him to like yours? He has a scoff and a "I don't really find that interesting" with your name on it.
Posted by style blogger Lakyn Marie, it doesn't describe dating for all women, nor does the behavior describe all guys. But Lakyn's experience isn't singular — there's a reason the post was included in a viral BuzzFeed Community list called "The Struggles of Women in Our Society." In a society where men are often taught that their needs and desires come first, especially in the bedroom, it's no surprise some feel entitled to have women bend to their interests — especially in online dating (see: Tinder creep-turned-"poster boy for male entitlement").
When women feel pressured to meet those expectations, we get unrealistic double standards like the "cool girl," famously named by author Gillian Flynn in the 2012 novel Gone Girl. Cool girls are hot and feminine and slender, but they also "adore football, poker, dirty jokes and burping." They're blank slates who epitomize "chill" around whatever dude they're dating, yet are most likely not chill at all. (Chillness, after all, is modern dating's false god.)
While women are praised for being chill, downing beers and joining their dates on the couch to watch sports, men are rarely expected to fit any of the analogous female stereotypes. That double standard might not occur in all dating scenarios, but Tinder experiences like Lakyn's expose its prevalence.
The next Tinder test to try: Straight women writing "must love fashion shows" in their profiles. Then see what happens.