President Obama turns 51 today, and besides celebrating with a round of golf and a fundraising dinner at his Chicago home, here's a list of what the president wishes he will receive as presents in this reelection year -- marked by a still sluggish economic recovery and a close political battle with presumptive Republican presidential nominee and former governor of Massachusetts Mitt Romney:
1. Sarah Palin:
Barack Obama's birthday is the perfect day for Romney to announce his surprise VP selection. In the president's perfect world, that would be Sara Palin (you betcha!). Arguably the death nail for the 2008 McCain presidential campaign, the former governor of Alaska would make an even more embarrassing choice the second time around. Of course, another dose of hockey-mom hilarity would also be a perfect gift for Jon Stewart and comedy writers everywhere.
With the 2012 election just three months away, it's only a matter of time before Joe Biden says or does something stupid. He's already been caught napping on national television during a budget speech, so keeping the vice president occupied is becoming a real concern for the Obama campaign. Surely once Biden sees Obama playing with his brand new toy, he'll demand a turn. The classic fun of Ball-in-a-Cup should buy them at least a few weeks of freedom from Vice Presidential Foot-in-a-Mouth.
3. A New Slogan:
Something that's undoubtedly on Obama's birthday wish list is another base rallying, chant inducing, viral video spawning slogan for the 2012 campaign. “Yes we still can,” won't cut it, and “Keep on Hoping” would be kinda sad actually. This is a problem because Democrats, young Democrats in particular, haven't been volunteering at nearly the rate they were four years ago. It's unclear whether this is due to disillusionment with his shortcomings or overconfidence in another win, but either way a catchy slogan never hurt anyone's recruitment efforts.
4. A Joint Session:
No, not a political summit. What our president really wants for his birthday is to travel back in time to his “high” school days. He could certainly use the relaxation, and a little nostalgia might also help him get perspective on the dispensary situation in that continues to frustrate voters in California and Colorado. The ambiguous legality of medicinal marijuana isn't exactly as much of a hot button issue as gay marriage, but many democrats in the other green party are looking for Obama to do what he did for LGBT activists and officially come out in support of their cause.
5. A Cake:
With all due respect to First Lady Michelle Obama, who would jump out of President Obama's birthday cake singing "Happy Birthday Mr. President" a la JKF-Marilyn Monroe? Would it be Kim Kardashian, Beyonce Knowles, Rihanna or ... Michael Moore?