The Moment You Can Get Gross With Someone Is the Moment Your Relationship Starts

Source: HBO
Source: HBO

"When you meet somebody for the first time, you're not meeting them. You're meeting their representative," Chris Rock once said of dating.

It's true. At the beginning of every relationship, we only present the best version of ourselves: Our hair is perfectly styled, our outfits are flattering and we bring out only the crowd-pleasing, time-tested anecdotes. 

But after a few weeks or months, we stop sending "the representative" in our place, and the relationship takes a sharp left turn into Weirdsville, population: the two of you.  

Source: Giphy

While one might think that sleeping with a face full of acne cream would make your partner less attracted to you, research shows that the happiest couples are those who embrace each other's gross private habits. Because true intimacy is not unlike a seven-layer dip (slathered all over your sloppy, drunk face) — at first you think you know exactly what you're digging into, but after a while, everything starts to blend together. Luckily, you're already hooked — and the seemingly unappetizing mess is in fact the best. 

In celebration of the completely romantic (and completely gross) comfort zone, Mic asked 20-somethings to share the moment they knew their relationships stopped being polite and started getting real.

When you let them in on your personal grooming habits

"In the beginning, I didn't take [the relationship] seriously. I just didn't care what he thought. I purposely stopped shaving anything our entire first winter together, kind of as a challenge to see if he'd get grossed out or not. Apparently, this was attractive to him." — Female, 27, in a relationship for two years

"After watching me do it a few times, my boyfriend asked to start tweezing my mustache with me. I let him because he's like an eager kindergartner." — Female, 28, in a relationship for three years

"During our first sleepover, she found my anti-aging gel I use for my crow's feet. She still makes fun of me for it." — Male, 32, in a relationship for four years

When you started farting in front of them

"It took him a long time to fart in front of me, more like several months. It was a special moment when he did, I was honestly excited. He still calls me 'You little farter!' whenever I toot. This sounds completely awful as I type it out but it is true." — Female, 27, in a relationship for two years

"Wore nothing but boxers to the dinner table, accidentally let one rip while we were eating." — Female, 25, in a relationship for two years

"She walked in my apartment while I was crouched down with my butt in the air in the middle of the carpet (modified cat's pose) trying to squeeze a fart out." — Female, 30, in a relationship three years

When you got super drunk and sloppy

"Maybe like 5 months into dating my college boyfriend, we went out partying for the first time. This was for real my first time ever getting drunk. Like any college kid, I could not hold my liquor. I vomited on the entire bus ride home, on the walk and in my dorm room trash. My sweet boyfriend helped me the whole way. After puking, I realized I had a tampon in and would need to change it for bed. Because of drunk logic, I asked my boyfriend to change my tampon as I instructed him. It got weird." — Female, 23, in a relationship for three years

When you started coordinating your, um, elimination schedules

"I'd never want to go back to the relationship stages where you can't reveal defecation schedules and irregular poop catastrophes." — Male, 27, in a relationship for less than two years

"He fully took a dump while asking me how my day was." — Female, 29, in a relationship six months

"It was my first time visiting his parent's house and, suddenly, nature called. I clogged his parent's toilet after having explosive diarrhea. My boyfriend had to plunge it after several failed attempts on my part." – Female, 25, in a relationship one year

When your sex life got truly repulsive

"My boyfriend said, 'Wait, what's on your back?"' and pointed out a huge ass zit festering on my shoulder. He climbed on top of me and began drawing a tropical island around the zit before I could say anything." — Female, 25, in a relationship one year

"She slipped into bed one night completely naked, which was hot, until I saw a little something in her crack. It was TP. I said to her, 'Um, you know that Charmin Bear commercial? You're Charmin-ing.'" — Male, 29, in a relationship for five years

"I was straddling her and a huge snot rope fell right onto her chest." — Male, 26, in a relationship one year

"I was over his house and ran out of tampons so did the classic stuff-underwear-with-some-toilet-paper. I forgot about it. Hours later, we started fooling around and he took off my underwear. A rolled up piece of somewhat bloody toilet paper fell on the floor." — Female, 27, in a relationship for two years

When you could no longer hide your disgusting eating habits

"We were eating brownies, some fell down my shirt into my bra. I dug it out and still ate it. He thought it was awesome." — Female, 26, in a relationship two years

"I ordered 2 Taco Supremes in front of him at Taco Bell, bc who am I kidding." — Female, 23, in a relationship one year

"He was all of a sudden very human when I started consistently sleeping in his bed and felt all of the crumbs because he hates to eat at tables." — Female, 24, in a relationship for three years

... or your porn habits

"My girlfriend walked in on me watching the Family Guy porn." — Male, 31, in a relationship three years

"We were looking up flights for a trip and all my PornHub searches autofilled." — Male, 27, in a relationship one year

When you weren't afraid of just being you

"When he cried around me for the first time. He said he felt really stupid about it, but it really made me love him more because as cliche as it is, it's always humbling watching someone cry. You just want to hug them and make them feel better, and in that moment, it's really hard to feel anything else but love." — Female, 25, in a relationship for 1.5 years

How likely are you to make Mic your go-to news source?

Kate Hakala

Kate is a freelance writer and regular contributor to Mic. A former editor of Nerve, her writing has also appeared in the The New York Times, Playboy, Refinery29, Salon, and The Daily Dot. On most days she is thinking of Louis C.K.

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