These Are the Honest Texts We Wish We Could Send Our Hookups

It's no huge surprise that kids today (read: consenting young adults) are having more casual sex than ever. But despite the moral panic swirling around Tinder and Grindr and other no-strings-attached hookup apps, there's one real problem with "hookup culture" that we're not talking about: We're not being 100 percent real with the people we're sleeping with.  

When someone asks you to come over to watch Netflix and chill, or texts you a string of unrelated emoji, you can never be quite sure what their true intentions are. But fear not: All isn't lost. You can decode the ever-mysterious, spelling error-ridden texts you get from your fuck buddy—and they can decode yours. 

To help you navigate this brave new world of open and honest communication, we've compiled a list of the texts you wish you could've sent your hookup, about everything from STI scares to the location of your clitoris. Sally forth and remember this: The truth will (almost) always set you free.

If we were honest with our hookups, we'd tell them how excited we are to hear from them. 

We'd call them out for being stingy.

We'd let them know just how much work it requires to take that effortlessly gorgeous selfie.

We wouldn't have to apologize for being lazy.

And we wouldn't have to apologize for having an active social life. 

We wouldn't have to be ashamed of our bodily functions.

And we wouldn't have to pretend to be chill. 

We wouldn't worry about hurting their feelings.

And we'd straight-up call them out for conveniently "forgetting" to bring protection.

We wouldn't lead them on.

We'd give them patient and constructive criticism.

We'd always keep it real.