Here Are the Honest Gchats We Wish We Could Send Our Bosses

At some point in your professional career, you will be forced to interact with your boss over some sort of online messaging system. (Thanks, Internet.)  And since we also live in a world where, according to a 2013 study, 87% of employees report not trusting their bosses, that means that the majority of those conversations will consist of work inquiries and vague pleasantries. Honest communication with your boss via Gchat or Slack? Yeah, that's not gonna happen. 

But imagine if we were more honest with our bosses. Imagine a world of candor and fairness, in which you felt comfortable calling your boss out for sexism, or upbraiding your supervisor for making you stay three hours late after work. Imagine a world in which you could ease your job insecurity by straight-up asking your boss if you're getting fired, a world in which you could finally tell your colleague she always has spinach in her teeth. 

Here are suggestions for honest Gchats to send your boss the next time she asks you to work for free or walk her dog. You're welcome.

When she signs onto Gchat:

When he asks you to work overtime and you know you're not getting paid:

When he asks you to work late but you have plans that evening:

When you find out that the latest white dude hire who does your exact job makes more money than you do:

When he expects you to work over the weekend:

When she schedules yet another meeting:

When he assigns you to work with Charles, the office douchebag:

When she overshares about her personal life:

When he asks you to come to a mysterious one-on-one meeting out of nowhere:

When he asks you to get lunch:

When she asks you to do stuff outside your job description:

When he cuts you down in front of your coworkers:

When she offers you an unsolicited raise just because you're doing a great job: