The 8 Comments We Wish We Could Leave Our Friends on Facebook

Ah, Facebook: The social networking site that keeps you in touch with your friends and family. Or more accurately, the social networking site that makes you hate all of your friends and family, particularly that one guy you went to high school with who won't stop posting about how much he hates fat chicks. (Is he OK? Like, what is his deal?).

Like Pavlov's dog, you check Facebook 50 times a day, waiting for... you don't even know what. Even though you know Facebook isn't cool anymore and is actually scientifically proven to make you more depressed, you just can't quit.

Well, maybe it would be better if we were all a little bit more honest with our loved ones online. What if we told them to STFU about the exciting new job they can't stop posting about, or that we just don't care about the kale salad they had for lunch? What if we lived in a world where it was OK to tell new moms on Facebook that we just don't care about their baby's first bowel movement?

Here's how we would respond if we could stop being polite on social media and started getting real.

We'd tell our friends to get their lives the eff together.

We'd call them out on their tall tales. 

We'd tell them that we just don't care that much about their stupid babies. 

We wouldn't have to pretend to be distraught when they take social media "vacations."

We wouldn't let ourselves feel bad about how awesome their lives look. 

We'd mock them mercilessly for their Facebook faux pas. 

We'd dig for dirt.

Most importantly, we'd call people out on their racist bullshit.