If Your Vagina Were on Twitter, Here's What It Would Tweet

If Your Vagina Were on Twitter, Here's What It Would Tweet

Between the unfortunately timed yeast infections and inexplicable attraction to your bestie's weird cousin, sometimes your vagina can have a mind of her own. It seems like life would be a lot easier if your vagina had some outlet to let you know what the eff was going on. She would be smart. She would be sassy. And she'd probably be on Twitter. 

Even though your vagina has likely prompted to you to make some questionable decisions in the past, there's no doubt she'd be a Twitter kween. Here are some things your lady flower would surely tweet:

When you meet someone hot:

When you're having an orgasm:

When you get your period and it's super heavy:

When you see a picture of Zayn Malik:

When your Tinder date turns out to be sexist:

When you're having bad sex:

When you get turned on by something really weird:


When you're ovulating:

When it's been forever since you've had sex: 

When you have a UTI:

When you're home for the holidays and having dinner with your parents: 

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Eve Peyser

Eve Peyser is a writer who grew up in Manhattan and now lives in Brooklyn. Her work has appeared on NYMag.com, Buzzfeed, The New Inquiry, Mic, The Daily Dot, and Art21 Magazine. She's been written about in the New York Times, Perez Hilton and Cosmopolitan and featured on CNN. She is extremely fun both on and off the internet.