7 Ways Julian Assange Might be Passing the Time in the Ecuadorian Embassy

I am sure at first spending time in the Ecuadorian embassy as a wanted man in the United Kingdom would be fun. You avoid arrest; you avoid getting thrown to an angry mob; you get to chill with Ecuadorian citizens. This seems like a win-win-win situation for Assange. But what's a man about-the-world supposed to do while crying asylum in an embassy? 

1. Have a staring contest


Look into his eyes they are like cool steel that cannot be broken or intimidated. You feel that urge to blink now don't you? Nothing wrong with defeat when you're playing the champ. 

2. Drink


Assange is a busy man with all his internet freedom talk, avoiding the "haters," and dancing (around certain allegations that he is actually putting people at risk rather then opening the eyes of the masses) he doesn't really have time to sit back and enjoy a glass of wine. (Note: this isn't really Assange...just SNL's Bill Hader...or is it?)

3. Style his hair


Do you see the time and effort that went into meticulously fixing and styling this hair? Before requesting political asylum Assange didn't have time to be playing hairdresser. Is a mohawk next? A buzz cut with the wikileak logo next? The sky's the limit!!

4. Dance party


Sometimes when the World has you down or is (literally) out to get you, take some advice from Lady Gaga. No, don't wear a meat dress or a set a piano on fire. But just turn on some club lights, let the beat drop and just dance!

5. Go viral with a good meme


Cash in on some of your fame and become an internet meme. You can't let McKayla Maroney have all the fun.

6. Watch V for Vendetta


Time to catch up on some classic and relevant movies. Maybe even dress up.

7. Play Monopoly 


Yep you got it! Monopoly does Ecuador. But be careful while you're rounding GO! and collecting 200 dollars that you don't land on ...

 

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Jane Napier

usually sunburned and currently living on oatmeal while waging a mostly silent but prolific war against instant coffee.

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