In the United States, policing people's sexuality is the modus operandi of many politicians, so it's no surprise that our country has tried to regulate seemingly innocuous sex acts between consenting adults throughout history.
For instance, sodomy, a term usually used to describe sex acts like oral sex and anal sex, was a frequent target of lawmakers, while other statutes have made premarital sex and cohabitation illegal. And then there were (and continue to be) rules designed to regulate women's sexuality in particular, such as the prohibition of sex toy sales.
While the Supreme Court effectively killed many outdated sodomy laws in its 2003 Lawrence v. Texas ruling, many states still have laws against cohabitation and adultery on their books although it's unlikely you will be charged at all. Here are just a few of them that we'd like off the books come 2016:
Alabama: You can't buy sex toys.
Numerous states, including Alabama, still list sodomy as sex crimes. The state also has pretty harsh regulation when it comes to the sale sex toys, unless needed for a medical purpose. And add to that legal murkiness that seems to make marrying your first cousin... totally legal.
Arizona: You can't cheat on your spouse.
It may not be enforceable anymore, but adultery is still listed as a Class 3 misdemeanor in Arizona.
Florida: You can't live with your partner.
Florida's laws against lewd and lascivious behavior makes it illegal for unmarried couples to cohabitate, and you could get arrested for a second class misdemeanor. But go ahead and do it anyway because earlier this year, the state legislature finally decided to repeal the 150-year-old law. 2016, the year to live in sin.
Georgia: You can't buy a vibrator.
Don't plan on opening an adult shop in Georgia anytime soon, since there are towns where getting a gun is easier than getting a vibrator.
Idaho: You can't watch Blue is the Warmest Color at a bar.
Indecency and obscenity laws in Idaho, especially for establishments that sell alcohol, are so messy that theaters couldn't screen the French arthouse flick Blue is the Warmest Color in 2014.
Michigan: You can't have sex with an unmarried woman.
Don't plan on seducing and "debauching" an unmarried woman while in Michigan because you could be facing jail time and fines.
Mississippi: You can't teach someone about polygamy.
In Mississippi, it is illegal to teach polygamy, or even "persuade another" person to embrace it.
Nebraska: You can't get married if you have an STI.
In Nebraska, you may not marry if you have a venereal disease.
New Mexico: You can't serve sushi topless.
In New Mexico, waiters and dancers need to keep it covered up, because both "indecent dancing" and "indecent waitering" (meaning, serving beverage or food while "knowingly and intentionally exposing [your] intimate parts to public view") are strictly forbidden.
Oregon: You can't make a penis sculpture.
Surprisingly, Oregon's obscenity laws extend to art, such as sculptures, depicting nudity and sexual indulgence.
South Carolina: You can't lie to get laid.
If a man promises an unmarried woman marriage in order to seduce her, he's going to have to follow through. And adultery is still technically illegal.
Tennessee: You can't teach students that it's OK to touch someone else's butt.
In recent years, the Tennessee state government has passed the Gateway Sexual Activity Bill, which prohibits students from learning about handholding and kissing.
Texas: You can't own "six or more" dildos.
In Texas, it is illegal to own six or more "obscene devices" such as dildos (but what do you need with so many dildos, anyway?).
Virginia: Good luck having premarital sex.
Like a lot of states, Virginia still has laws against fornication on the books, meaning that if you're playing house with bae, you're technically breaking some very old-fashioned rules.
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