Weekday Morning Instagram Is a Lie

Source: Instagram
Source: Instagram

Ah, Monday morning. Those precious hours when your day, aka your Instagram feed, is filled with color-coordinated gym clothes followed by perfectly-foamed lattes and artfully arranged acai bowls.

Let's correct that picture. Weekday mornings are not fun. Even if you are a morning person, Monday mornings are not fun by virtue of being Mondays. Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday mornings are less than fun because they're not Friday morning, which at least brings with it the promise of sleeping until noon the next day. Saturday and Sunday morning are tolerable because they come with the promise of a carb-packed brunch of eggs Benedict, avocado toast and other photo-worthy menu items.

Weekday mornings filled with those kinds of impeccably groomed items? Nope. Not buying it. Not at all.

Work mornings are when you drag yourself out of bed to the gym or to the nearest espresso machine before taking a shower and joining the throngs of commuters who are also still trying to wake up (and probably in a sour mood because of it). Science accounts for these foul attitudes: While people between the ages of 60 and 80 tend to naturally wake up earlier, most young adults are night owls.

Of course, lies on Instagram are nothing new. But if you're going for likes with those gorgeous morning shots, you're fighting a losing battle: Research has shown that few people are liking photos during the hours of 7 am to noon, so why bother putting in the effort?

Unless you are one of the lucky minority of morning people out there, no one — including us — believes you woke up looking as well composed and cheerful as your picture suggests. Here are a few of the top offenders.

The Coffee Shot

Source: Getty Images

Maybe we can believe that you just got a manicure the day before, hence the lack of chipping, but a peaceful Monday morning with heart-shaped cocoa on your coffee? Please. Everyone knows that most 9 to 5ers take their coffee to-go in an unattractive paper cup or steel thermos.  

The Gym Flat Lay

We're inspired by photos like @thefitfile's, but we don't always believe them...
Source: 
Instagram

$10 says this photo actually took an hour spent arranging on a Sunday night and was held until Tuesday morning for posting. 

The Makeup Table

Oh sure, we keep fresh flowers laying out next to our pastel makeup, too. 

The Breakfast Spread

Source: Getty Images

Doesn't your significant other present you with breakfast in bed every Wednesday so you can eat while reading the news? Let's amend this shot to show the unglamorous yogurt you grabbed from the fridge as you rushed out the door.

The Cheery Message

We love you, @wellandgoodnyc, but we can't always muster as much Monday AM energy as you can.
Source: 
Instagram

Scratch that. That note should actually read: Screw you, Monday. Don't even try to pretend you're not pissed that it still isn't the weekend.

We're ready to start seeing weekday mornings as they really are: harried, messy and often not pretty. A post showing your spilled to-go cup of coffee paired with the uncoordinated outfit you threw on after sleeping through your alarm? Now that's something we'll like. And trust us, when it's time for your beautiful (and slightly more believable) weekend shots, they'll be that much sweeter because of it.

How likely are you to make Mic your go-to news source?

Madeline Buxton

Madeline is a freelance writer and editor in New York covering tech, culture, and fitness. When not writing, she can be found bouldering or exploring the city's arts scene.

MORE FROM

Meet the Girl Scouts that will earn badges for being cybersecurity experts

They'll soon get badges for coding, cryptography and more.

How to use the Snapchat Map while everyone else continues to be confused about it

Everything you need to know about the new feature.

Planet 10? Scientists may have discovered a hidden planet in our solar system

There could be a ninth — or even 10th — planet hiding out in our solar system.

Scientists created a robot that will iron your clothes for you

Shut up and take my money.

Moth eyes have inspired the touchscreen of the future

It's going to change the anti-reflection game.

Twitter was flagging tweets including the word "queer" as potentially "offensive content"

Why Twitter put the word "queer" in the same category as violent, sexual imagery.

Meet the Girl Scouts that will earn badges for being cybersecurity experts

They'll soon get badges for coding, cryptography and more.

How to use the Snapchat Map while everyone else continues to be confused about it

Everything you need to know about the new feature.

Planet 10? Scientists may have discovered a hidden planet in our solar system

There could be a ninth — or even 10th — planet hiding out in our solar system.

Scientists created a robot that will iron your clothes for you

Shut up and take my money.

Moth eyes have inspired the touchscreen of the future

It's going to change the anti-reflection game.

Twitter was flagging tweets including the word "queer" as potentially "offensive content"

Why Twitter put the word "queer" in the same category as violent, sexual imagery.