In the few weeks since launching onto the late night talk show scene, Full Frontal host Samantha Bee has led the way in eviscerating the Republican Party's many blunders. Monday night's episode was no exception, as Bee tore into Donald Trump and other candidates' ridiculous performances of masculinity.
"This week, our country mourns the loss of a great institution, gone before its time," Bee said facetiously about the GOP.
Bee pinned the beginning of the party's end to the GOP's response to Thursday's debate, where the GOP apparently "woke up and realized Donald Trump was doing to his brand what his asshole son does to real elephants," Bee said, referencing Trump's son's proclivity for killing for sport.
Mitt Romney on Thursday publicly "staged a Mitt-ervention so condescending it served as a donation in kind to the Trump campaign," Bee said, adding that the thought of a "broken convention" likely caused Romney to soil "his temple garments."
But Romney is hardly the hero the GOP needs now, Bee said.
"With all due respect, sir, the last time you tried to stand between a charismatic guy and the White House, you got beat like a Muslim girl at a Trump rally," she said, to audience groans.
John McCain — another older white man who "led the party to a humiliating loss" and gave America "Trump 1.0" in the form of Sarah Palin — also echoed Romney's plea, Bee said. But his attempt also fell short for her, who noted that a man who thought it was OK to choose a running mate "who couldn't name a magazine" is hardly qualified to comment on the matter.
But the true nail in the GOP's coffin, according to Bee? Ironically, she suggested, it was their inability to keep their emotions in check during Thursday's debate.
"I don't mean to sound sexist, but I think men are just too emotional to be president," Bee said.
While Hillary Clinton has been publicly derided for a number of unwarranted, blatantly sexist reasons, male candidates can childishly bicker and even discuss their penis size and face few consequences, Bee suggested.
"So this is where we are?" she asked. "The party of Lincoln has completed its long journey from a 'house divided against itself cannot stand' to 'you should see how yuge my pocket Donald looks when I masturbate with my totally normal-sized hands'?"
The only person who deserves a shoutout for the debate that underscored the GOP's decline, according to Bee, is none other than the woman charged with reining them in: moderator Megyn Kelly.
"Faced with a gang of rambunctious man children hollering about their pee-pees," Bee said, Kelly did her best to keep the candidates in line.
Bee is not the first to suggest the GOP ought to better incorporate women into their party. Perhaps they would do well to take Bee's points about their death at the hands of male candidates to heart, and look toward the women emerging from the flames instead.
h/t Raw Story