The Definitive Matrix of All the Friends You Have in Your 20s

The Definitive Matrix of All the Friends You Have in Your 20s
Source: Getty Images
Source: Getty Images

In high school and college, your social circle is largely predetermined, like your genetic code. But post-grad is a whole other story, because your 20s is when you discover who you and your friends really are. When you're out in the world alone, you get to actually choose who you spend your time with. You also get to discover who your true friends are — like the Ilana to your Abbi — and which people should remain in your past, like the kid from college who still parties like it's sophomore year.

Of course, we all inevitably end up spending time with people we aren't crazy about, like your insufferable friend who invites you to the most fire parties. And then there are those friends you're somehow stuck with, even though you wish they'd vanish from your life, like that girl who cries at other people's birthday parties for attention or that dude who only dates 18-year-olds.

Luckily for you, we have a handy, mathematically precise chart to track all the most (and least) essential friends you have in your 20s. The x-axis represents how often you see each other, while the y-axis represents how much you actually like hanging out with them. 

Warning: This is almost painfully accurate. 

Source: Tri Vo/Eve Peyser/Mic.com

The 28 Types Of People You Know In Your 20s

1. Mom and Dad 

2. Your cool, successful friend who is always too busy to hang (but you totally understand) 

3. Your favorite sibling 

4. Your least favorite sibling 

5. Friend you're secretly in love with 

6. The friend you hit up when your bestie is busy 

7. Your bestie (the Ilana to your Abbi)

Source: Giphy

8. Weird pathological liar who's somehow part of your crew

9. Friend from college who still parties like it's sophomore year  

10. Your ex who you can't delete from your phone because he's friends with everyone you know and his D is too good 

11. Insufferable friend who invites you to the best parties 

12. Friend you made when you first moved to the city and were desperate for friends 

13. The girl who always invites you to her comedy shows even though she tried to steal your BF in college 

14. Your work spouse  

Source: Giphy

15.  The elementary school friend who still lingers on and hates all your other friends 

16. Your rich friend who always pays for you, which makes you feel uncomfortable, but you're too poor to say anything 

17. The guy friend who everyone but you has slept with in your crew 

18. Your weed dealer who you're low key trying to befriend 

19. Your ex's hot dude friend who you're low-key trying to bang as revenge 

20. Your friend in her early 40s who you drink wine with when you wanna feel like an adult 

Source: Giphy

21. Your friend who's a DJ but is actually really nice 

22. Thirsty guy from Tinder who you only hit up when you're really lonely 

23. The intellectual friend that always asks you to go to museums and lectures 

24. Your college bestie who's now a raw vegan fitness freak 

25. Your cousin's best friend, who you made out with after Thanksgiving sophomore year 

26. Your work spouse's roommate, who majored in musical theater and is way more annoying than your work spouse 

27. Your friend in art school who does way too many hard drugs  

28. Your bestie's shitty on-again, off-again boyfriend who has major commitment issues

How much do you trust the information in this article?

Eve Peyser

Eve Peyser is a writer who grew up in Manhattan and now lives in Brooklyn. Her work has appeared on NYMag.com, Buzzfeed, The New Inquiry, Mic, The Daily Dot, and Art21 Magazine. She's been written about in the New York Times, Perez Hilton and Cosmopolitan and featured on CNN. She is extremely fun both on and off the internet.

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