If the Food Pyramid Had Been Covered in Sriracha, Maybe It Wouldn't Have Been Destroyed

Let's face it: The food pyramid was an absolute mountain of garbage.

The 1992 Food Guide Pyramid (RIP)
Source: 
Center for Nutrition Policy and Promotion/USDA

This is what the fat cats at the USDA wanted us to eat — every. single. day.


I don't know about you, but nothing gets my mouth watering like knowing I have to eat three servings of "dry beans."

Dry.


Beans.


Yum. Oh wait, not yum — catastrophe.

tfw you get 11 servings of grain a day
Source: 
Giphy

There has to be a better way. And fortunately — there is, with the help of a not-so-secret ingredient: Sriracha.

Doesn't that look so much better?



Doesn't this *almost* make you want to eat a vegetable?


Isn't this just the most satisfying thing you've ever seen?

Source: YouTube

Doesn't this video of Sriracha being made make you want to burn a hole straight through your tongue at lunch today?

Sriracha — the simple, spicy secret to making even the healthiest, blandest food in your pantry a joy to eat.  

Source: Giphy

(Yes, even dry beans.)

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Anthony Smith

Anthony Smith is Senior Staff Writer for Mic covering... whatever this world is becoming. He was previously Director of Social Media and Analytics and Digital Strategist for Newsweek and the International Business Times. He attended Wesleyan University and lives in Brooklyn.

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