Few tales of erectile dysfunction have happy endings (literal or otherwise). Even the slightest cases of limp fettuccine have been known to make men feel ashamed, embarrassed or even clinically depressed.
But for one woman whose Reddit thread went viral on Monday night, a soft weenie was actually just what she needed to have the best sex of her life! Posting in /r/TwoXChromosomes, a user named no_boner_love (damn, it must have been good) described a recent hookup with a dude she met at a bar.
"He couldn't get it up, at all, and he wasn't drunk," she wrote. "At first I was hesitant, but I stuck with it. It was well worth it, because despite being soft the entire time, he was amazing."
The post continues:
I have never felt so admired, sexy, or looked after. He had the biggest smile on his face the whole time like "oh my gosh I can't believe this is happening", while just touching me, everywhere. He made sure I enjoyed myself several times, all the while being completely un-apologetic about his floppy doodle.
This has never happened before, every other man I have been with has had a power-boner the entire time. I would have assumed In this situation I would have felt a mixture of self-conscious, embarrassed, and like i wasn't good enough ... but because of him I wasn't. I have never felt more confident!
So in case it wasn't clear: She really liked the sex.
As common as erectile dysfunction is — it is said to affect up to 30 million men in the United States, and an estimated 25% of new cases are said to occur in men under 40 — we rarely hear stories of couples that manage to enjoy soft-dicked sex. More often than not, boner issues are viewed as a hindrance to doing it altogether, with men turning to prescription pills or lifestyle changes in an effort to "fix" things.
"Intercourse doesn't always have to be the goal," she said. "Look at sex as pleasure-oriented vs. goal-oriented."
We're guessing that was the approach taken by our friend no_boner_love (although she's yet to reply to Mic's request for comment, so the story's veracity isn't exactly confirmed). Could it have been a totally fictional tale spun by an anti-capitalist renegade who decided to create a fake Reddit account called "no_boner_love" and wax about the joys of boner-free sex, purely in an effort to thwart Big Pharma's $2 billion Viagra cash cow? Possibly.
Or maybe the (albeit soft) D, complete with all sorts of other pleasure-giving, really was just that good!