By "here," I am referring specifically to the Cheesecake Factory.
Behold this line from "Child's Play," a track off his brand new album Views:
Why you gotta fight with me at Cheesecake? / You know I love to go there ... This a place for families that drive Camrys and go to Disney / They don't need to know all of our business
Honestly? Same. The Cheesecake Factory (or just "Cheesecake," if you too are on a first-name basis with the restaurant) is not the place for melodramatic relationship antics. It is a classy establishment. Its menu is delicious and comprehensive. Its aesthetic is warm and inviting and somehow manages to feel both modern and ancient Rome-y at the same time. A paragon of middle class luxury, it is a place where relationships are meant to thrive, not die.
The court of public opinion seems to share Drake's preference for indulging in cheesecake without a side of drama:
So now that we all agree Drake is right, let's acknowledge the fact that chain restaurants are having a moment. First Beyoncé expressed her love of post-sex Red Lobster in "Formation." Now Drake is proclaiming his stance on interpersonal Cheesecake Factory fights on "Child's Play."
Below, just a few predictions as to what song lyrics of the future might hold:
3. Justin Bieber pondering life's purpose from the parking lot of an abandoned Chili's.
All are plausible, TBH.