Whitney Houston once said that the children are our future — but let's hope, for the future's sake, that she was wrong. A Reddit thread going viral this week is exposing the reality of having kids — and let's just say that it's a lot grosser than you think (unless you already have kids, in which case it's probably just as gross as you think).
Nearly 7,000 comments later, we now have answers. None of them are cute. Many of them aren't even safe for work. Some will make you want to vomit all over your keyboard and/or smartphone.
Some of the vile characters profiled in the thread include this young boy, who prefers deli ham to paper towels:
I walked into the kitchen one day to see my 4 year old son cleaning the counter with a piece of ham. He then went over to the sink, washed off the piece of ham and then started to eat it.
These diminutive degenerates who pissed all over the family dog:
Walked into the backyard to find my two baby brothers (10 years younger) with their dicks out laughing and pissing on the family dog whom was dancing around trying to catch the streams in his mouth.
This little girl who put juice in her hair (which, compared to the others, sounds positively hygienic TBH, but still):
My daughter, who's five, took a sip of juice from a straw, spit it into her hand, and then proceeded to rub it into her hair like it was hair product or something.
And this miniature monster who pooped in her pillowcase and then blamed it on her innocent old grandmother:
3 year old. Took a poop in a pillowcase and folded it up into a small square, tucked it under her pillow. She said she didn't do it. "Maybe it was my grandma or maybe the dog?"
In conclusion, be glad you don't have kids. Unless you do have kids, in which case: sry.