Homophobia Is Both Fun and Adorable in This Jehovah's Witness Cartoon for Kids

Remember when indoctrination was such a drag? No more!

Take for example this not-at-all disconcerting Jehovah's Witness cartoon in which a mother teaches her child a few key lessons in Homophobia 101. 

It all starts when a little girl notices that her classmate Carrie drew "two mommies" in a portrait of her family. 

Hmm...

"My teacher says that all that matters is that people love each other and that they're happy," the already-woke child later tells her mother.

Well...

"What matters is how Jehovah feels," mom replies. "He wants us to be happy, and he knows how we can be happiest. That's why he invented marriage the way he did."

"Exactly!"

To get to paradise, says mother, "Jehovah says we have to leave some things behind. That means anything Jehovah doesn't approve of." 

In other words, leave your gay baggage at the door. 

Boy will you be happy you did!

And for poor, misguided heathens (ahem, Carrie) who think same-sex marriage is fine, the best thing a Jehovah's Witness can do is preach. The little girl learns that she can "share his message" with Carrie, which is to say, evangelize to her about the error of her two moms' ways.

So... we cool?

Never mind that lecturing, shaming or otherwise attempting to convert a person's natural sexuality is an exercise in futility. It's also bullying. And, arguably, the best way to respond to a bully is to ignore their bullshit.

But we're sure the church will get to that some other time.