Amy Schumer Grows a Beard, Pees Standing Up and Eats Trash to Relate to Her Man

Amy Schumer is teaching young girls how to hold onto their men, because that's supposed to be every woman's greatest goal in life, right? Right?!?! In a new skit from Thursday night's Inside Amy Schumer, the ever-relatable comedian shows off the depths she dives to connect even deeper with her partner, which includes eating garbage, urinating while standing and screaming at 14-year-old boys over gaming consoles. 

In her latest mock music video, Schumer plays the traditional, love-sprung pop singer the music industry has shoved down our collective throats for decades — with a twist: While clearly lip-syncing over another vocalist, Schumer wears her boyfriend's work shirt and does cutesy things like flicking her panties at the camera. You know, typical girl stuff every woman does while they merely wait for their man to return from work!

But then it gets interesting: Schumer suddenly begins stuffing creatine into her face, cutting her hair to look more like her man and even eating his leftovers from the garbage so she can poop what he does, too. 

Instead of being shocked by his girlfriend's radical transformation from gorgeous early-2000's pop singer to garbage-eating menace to society, Schumer's partner warmly embraces her once he lays eyes on her. Call it modern romance at its finest.

Head here to see the full video. 

Read more: 12 Times Amy Schumer Proved She's America's Most Badass Female Comic