When director Kevin Smith presented his daughter with a cake reading "Sorry Men Suck" a few months back, he wasn't being flip or making light of a horrifying situation, he told Glamour. He was responding to the almost-kidnapping of his 16-year-old daughter, Harley, who was awaiting an Uber outside a Starbucks when two men, neither of who was her driver, pulled up and tried to coax her into their car. Smith and his wife were understandably shaken and upset.
"As a guy who is sometimes a man myself, I also just wanted to do something for her, because at that moment her view of humanity — let's be honest, man-ity — was totally fucked," Smith said.
So he had a cake made for her with "Sorry Men Suck" written on it. He wanted her to share her story on social media as a means of sounding the alarm. Smith wanted to make some larger points about men and their mistreatment of women.
"Some men have this 'I'm entitled to whatever I see' mentality," Smith explained to Glamour.
Many men would be more realistically labeled manchildren, he said, but not all of them. He reminded her how much he likes her current boyfriend, who's a "listener," "a partner, a friend."
Basically, he told her to look for someone who sees her as a person, not a vagina: "Find a guy who wants the sex and likes to talk and share dreams and schemes."
Someone who would be her "sea otter," who would fall asleep holding her hand for life — more or less Phoebe Buffay's concept of a lobster.
Smith told Harley to find someone who didn't grow up feeling entitled, because not only would he happily go down on her (cool, Dad), but presumably also because she wouldn't come second to his hulking ego.
"Always carry something stabby," he added.
And so ends a bizarre and somewhat patriarchal proviso that basically boils down to this: A lot of men out there see women as sex objects and treat them as nothing more. #NotAllMen, though. Smith wants his daughter to look out for the ones who love having sex (ew, Dad), but also love her. In other words: Get you a man who can do both.