We're All Masturbating to the Same Celebrities, Because Our Genitals Are Unimaginative

We're All Masturbating to the Same Celebrities, Because Our Genitals Are Unimaginative
Source: Getty Images
Source: Getty Images

For better or worse, internet porn has never been more easily accessible. Yet new data indicates that not everyone chokes their chickens to Pornhub these days. Some folks out there are still using their imaginations and fantasizing about celebrities! Who knew? 

The sex toy company We-Vibe surveyed 1,032 Americans and found that 33% of men and 19% of women regularly jerk off to famous people. 

Source: Giphy

Female celebrities

1) Jennifer Lopez

Mariah Carey may not know Jennifer Lopez, but plenty of men in this survey do — she was ranked the No. 1 overall most-jerked-off-to celeb. 

2) Carrie Underwood 

Side note: Here's a clip from Underwood's 2012 Oprah's Next Chapter interview in which she discusses her strong Christian faith.

3) Jennifer Lawrence

Insert your own X-Men masturbation pun here. 

4) Jessica Alba 

She was named "Sexiest Woman in the World" by FHM back in 2007.

5) Emma Watson

More like Emma Wantsome-tissues-for-that-mess?

Male celebrities 

1) Channing Tatum 

Possibly the most predictable masturbation choice ever.

Source: Getty Images

2) Ryan Gosling

Wait, no. This is the most predictable masturbation choice ever.

Source: Getty Images

3) Adam Levine

Remember that time he posed naked with a hand covering his ding-dong?

4) Johnny Depp 

Kind of a quirky choice, actually! By this list's standards, at least.

Source: Getty Images

5) Justin Timberlake 

Even in spite of his very unsexy new music video.

Source: Robb Cohen/AP

So in conclusion, just because someone uses their imagination to masturbate, it doesn't mean they're necessarily all that imaginative. 

But here's a question to ponder: How the hell do these celebrities feel about having so many random strangers masturbating to them? Do their ears ring every time it happens? Do they feel disgusted? Flattered? Violated? Validated? Or just #blessed?

Source: Giphy