Here's Why We Always Have Sex Dreams About the Worst People

Here's Why We Always Have Sex Dreams About the Worst People

You run your fingers through his combed-over hair, trace your tongue across his orange skin. He feeds you a bite of his favorite taco bowl. The second you wake up, the truth hits: You just had a sex dream about Donald Trump.

"A lot of women are having lots and lots of dreams about Donald Trump, even though they find him completely abhorrent," psychologist and dream expert Ian Wallace said in a phone interview. Case in point: This post on Reddit's /r/dreams forum that involves a penis pump and hair plugs. Or the long list of tweets containing "Trump" and "sex dream."

Even if you've never dreamed of doing the Donald, you've probably experienced the horror of having a sex dream about someone you'd never sleep with in real life. Maybe it was your terrible boss, or that bro in your women's studies class with a penchant for mansplaining. Maybe — ugh — it was a member of your own family

There's a reason we sometimes have sex dreams about the worst people. Thankfully, it's not necessarily that we're secretly harboring affections for them. 

Why do we dream about sex? Experts have a few possible explanations.

In the waking world, sex is how we create human life. When we create dreams, we use sex as a metaphor for bringing a new idea to life, according to Wallace. 

"What sex symbolizes is a really powerful and intimate awareness of our own ability to create something," he said. You may dream about sex, for example, if you want to start a new project at work.

In the waking world, sex is how we create human life. When we create dreams, we use sex as a metaphor for bringing a new idea to life.

Sex dreams rarely represent a physical union, according to dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg. You may also dream about sex if there's a psychological or emotional connection you need, or have recently had, with another person. "Maybe you connected in some way in a conversation," Loewenberg said in a phone interview.

"The nature of sex is all about connecting," she continued. "It's two separate bodies connecting together and becoming one. It's the ultimate union."

Don't want an "ultimate union" with your boss? "It can seem strange when you create a sex dream about someone you're absolutely not attracted to in waking life," Wallace said. 

But dreaming about your childhood piano teacher doesn't mean you want to have sex with her — it's actually "about some aspect of our own character that that person symbolizes for us," he said. 

"What sex symbolizes is a really powerful and intimate awareness of our own ability to create something."

If starting that new project at work requires persuasive skills, you may dream of having sex with someone you know who's persuasive — even if it's that sleazy real estate broker who casually forgot to mention the building's rampant bedbug problem.  

One of the most common sex dreams is having sex with your boss, according to Wallace. Your boss "is someone who has power and authority to make something happen," he said — ideal qualities for bringing a new idea to life. 

"If it's freaking you out and you can't look them in the eye the next day, don't worry," Loewenberg said. It could also just be a sign that you need to team up with your boss for a job-related task, like a special project.

What about a sex dream with a family member? "This is one a lot of people won't admit," Loewenberg said. 

If you dream about sex with your father — a common one, according to Loewenberg — don't worry. "It's really more about what a father represents," she said. Maybe your dad is good at managing money, and you'd like that quality for yourself. 

Some even dream about sex with dogs. But remember, it's a symbol. Dogs are known for being friendly and loyal. "Is there anything going on in your life where you've taken on a new friend, or a new relationship that feels really good?" Loewenberg said.

"Maybe your dad is good at managing money, and you'd like that quality for yourself."

So if you dream of banging Trump, you may just want his confidence. "He's a person who's absolutely full of confidence, who has power to make some change — to do something of apparent value to other people," Wallace said. They're qualities people may wish to adopt, even if they're repelled by his policies — or his hair. 

"It's very interesting how we use characters to symbolize aspects of ourselves," Wallace mused.

Interesting, sure. But also gross.