These Are the Two Words Lena Dunham Will Never Say Again: I'm Sorry

These Are the Two Words Lena Dunham Will Never Say Again: I'm Sorry
Source: AP
Source: AP

She says she's been doing it for years, but on Wednesday she made it official: Lena Dunham is breaking up with apologizing. 

Yes, the writer and co-creator of HBO's Girls creator is done saying "I'm sorry." In a post on LinkedIn, titled "Sorry, Not Sorry: My Apology Addiction," Dunham wrote that the powerful feminist undertones in Beyoncé's Lemonade ("Sorry I ain't sorry") compounded with encouragement from her father — has inspired her to eliminate the term from her vocabulary. 

"Apologizing is a modern plague and I'd be willing to bet (though I have zero scientific research to back this up) that many women utter 'I'm sorry' more on a given day than 'thank you' and 'you're welcome' combined," Dunham wrote. "So many of the women I know apologize like it's a job they were given by the government." 

Read more: Why Don't You Tell Us How You Really Feel? This New Gmail Plugin Will Help

Dunham is onto something — and scientific research backs it. According to a 2010 study published in Scientific American, women do apologize more than men. It's such an epidemic, the tendency has even been parodied in pop culture. A 2015 Inside Amy Schumer sketch tackled the same issue, with a fictitious "Females in Innovation" conference constantly halted with each panel member apologizing for things they decidedly didn't do. 

Source: Giphy

Dunham explained that it was while working on Girls that she became hyperaware of her propensity to apologize, despite the fact that she was literally running the show.

I had men more than twice my age for whom I was the final word on the set of Girls, and I had to express my needs and desires clearly to a slew of lawyers, agents and writers. And while my commitment to my work overrode almost any performance anxiety I had, it didn't override my hardwired instinct to apologize. If I changed my mind, if someone disagreed with me, even if someone else misheard me or made a mistake... I was so, so sorry.

When I replaced apologies with more fully formed and honest sentiments, a world of communication possibilities opened up to me. I'm just sorry it took me so long.

Read Dunham's full post here

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Miles Surrey

Miles is a staff writer at Mic, covering culture. He is based in New York and can be reached at miles@mic.com.

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