Texts can be tricky to decipher. That's because all they contain is ... text. And that's it! You can't hear the person's voice or see their face or read their body language. You can only read their tiny little words and pray that buried deep within them is proof that you are, in fact, not an unlovable Shrek meant to die alone, buried under a stack of empty Cheez-It boxes.
Of course, it would be great if everyone just used text messages for the purposes of practical planning and straightforward communication. But this is the age of "Tinder and the Dawn of the 'Dating Apocalypse,'" so: sorry! Every text has a subtext. And sometimes that subtext is "I'm just not that into you."
Below are seven of the most common ones:
The letter "K" — unless immediately followed by the letters a, r, d, a, s, h, i, a and n — is just fucking rude. If you're crafting legitimate texts to someone and they are merely "kaying" you in return, it's time to wake up and smell the he/she/ze's-just-not-that-into-you coffee.
2. "Let's play it by ear."
Translation: "Meh. I'm slightly into you but not that into you. I cannot commit to any solid plans because I'm waiting to hear back from the other person I'm texting — who happens to be just not that into me."
It's a vicious cycle!
3. "Not much" and/or "Good"
Any response under three words is pretty much garbage, but these are particularly garbage. There's not even a courtesy "U?" at the end to keep the conversation alive. Anyone who answers questions like this most certainly DGAF 'boutchu. You deserve better than that! You deserve a courtesy "U?" at the very least!
4. "Hey u up?"
"Hey u up?" is fine — that is, if you happen to be a) up, and b) willing to accept that you are not on the road to marriage, but instead on the Booty Call freeway.
If you're just looking to get some: Congratulations! The sender of this text wants to give you some. If you have any interest in finding someone who loves and values you as a human being, then sorry! The sender of this text does not want any part of that.
5. "I'm just super busy."
Being busy is a totally real thing. Being so busy that you go days without texting the person you're genuinely interested in? That's totally not a real thing!
Not to be a Grim Reaper — even though, lol, this whole post is Grim Reaper-y AF — but if you didn't send that "Where ya been?" text to begin with, this person would probably have ghosted you faster than you can say "Casper."
6. Total silence
Total silence is a very strong hint that you are in the throes of being aggressively ghosted.
7. An ominous sequence of three knife emojis
If someone responds to your text with three knife emojis in a row, that's probably not a good sign. Go ahead and stock up on the Cheez-Its right now.