This Parody Article by "Hillary Clinton" Actually Speaks Some Truth About Her Campaign

Source: AP
Source: AP

After watching Hillary Clinton go from two-term first lady to two-term senator to U.S. secretary of state to the Democratic party's presumptive presidential nominee, one apparent Clinton supporter had a few choice words for anyone doubting Clinton's ability to occupy the nation's highest office: "What the fuck is your problem, America?"

On Monday, a writer under the pseudonym "Hillary Clinton" published a now-viral article on Medium entitled "Let Me Remind You Fuckers Who I Am." (The writer's handle is, appropriately, "shitHRCcantsay.")

"I'm willing to spend the next eight years catching shit on all sides, all so I can fix this fucking country for you," "Clinton" wrote. "And all you little bitches need to do is get off your asses one goddamn day in November."

For anyone still unpersuaded, the essay reminded readers of Clinton's core beliefs and values: "We want economic and racial justice, we want to seriously attack climate change, we want everyone to be able to afford college and health care and housing and food, we want women to be treated like humans, yada yada yada." 

And, shitHRCcantsay staunchly maintained, Clinton is the "only person in this goddamn country who knows how to do it."

Source: Evan Vucci/AP

But shitHRCcantsay didn't expect readers to be merely convinced with their, ahem, rather direct message. The writer came with the receipts: links to Clinton's policy proposals for addressing climate change, "reining in" Wall Street and fixing the economy

The vehement calls from Republicans to prosecute Clinton for her use of a private email server during her time as secretary of state (or worse — execute her, as a Donald Trump adviser suggested) simply prove all of these points, shitHRCcantsay said.

"I've spent my life clawing my way into a system that's terrified of change," the essay continued. "A system that just wants to let rich white dudes be rich white dudes."

As for Trump? Clinton's parody said bring it on:

"And holy shit, you guys, I could not have picked a better opponent for my final boss battle."

Your move, Trump.

Read more:
Hillary Clinton's "Trump Yourself" App Allows You to Be Insulted by Donald Trump 
Cory Booker Rouses DNC 2016 Crowd With Dramatic Speech: "America, We Will Rise"
Michelle Obama at 2016 DNC: "I Wake Up Every Morning in a House That Was Built By Slaves"

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Marie Solis

Marie is a Slay staff writer with focuses in culture and class. Her writing has appeared in Gothamist and the Awl. You can reach her at marie@mic.com.

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