Kanye West contributes McDonald's conspiracy theory to Frank Ocean's zine

Source: AP
Source: AP

Kanye West has concocted a bizarre and incoherent conspiracy theory about McDonald's french fries and Frank Ocean has given him a platform to share it. The fries have a plan, West says; he has always known this, and now you do, too.

Huh? Confused? So is the whole internet.

Some background: Ocean finally dropped his sophomore album — Blonde — on Saturday night. With it came a zine entitled Boys Don't Cry. To said zine, West contributed a poem charting a strange story of fry-fueled jealousy that may or may not be him projecting his inner feels and fears. The poem is called "The McDonald's Man," and we're reprinting it here, in its entirety, in case readers care to read.  


The McDonald's Man
Calabassas, California

McDonalds man
McDonalds man
The french fries had a plan
The french fries had a plan
The salad bar and the ketchup made a band
'Cus the french fries had a plan
The french fries had a plan

McDonalds man
McDonalds
I know the french fries have a plan
I know the french fries have a plan
The cheeseburger and the shakes formed a band
To overthrow the french fries' plan
I always knew them french fries was evil, man
Smelling all good and shit
I don't trust no food that smells that good man
I don't trust it
I just can't

McDonalds man
McDonalds man
McDonalds, damn
Them french fries look good tho
I knew the Diet Coke was jealous of the fries
I knew the McNuggets was jealous of the fries
Even the McRib was jealous of the fries
I could see it through his artificial meat eyes
And he only be there some of the time
Everybody was jealous of them french fries
Except for that one special guy
That smooth apple pie 

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Claire Lampen

Claire is a staff writer at Mic who covers women's issues and reproductive rights. She is based in New York and can be reached at claire@mic.com.

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