Jimmy Kimmel hosted the 64th Annual Emmy Awards Sunday night. A safer host than the ever-daring Ricky Gervais, or the musical Jimmy Fallon, Kimmel managed to deliver a few real zingers; many of them political zingers to boot. Here are the top five quotes from Kimmel's opening monologue.
1. "I will admit that Downton Abbey is an amazing show ... it really gives you a sense of what it must have been like to grow up in Mitt Romney's house."
2. "Does it bother anyone else that President Obama said his favorite show is Homeland? I don't think the president should be watching Homeland for the same reason I don't think Charlie Sheen should watch Breaking Bad."
3. "It was a big year for cable. For the first time ever, none of the four major networks were nominated in the drama category. And you can't ignore that. The academy is sending a pretty clear message. And that message is 'Show us your boobs.'"
4. "Are any of you voting for Mitt Romney? Alright, there's 40 Republicans and the rest godless liberal homosexuals. ... Being a Republican in Hollywood is like being a Chick-fil-A sandwich on the snack table at Glee."
5. "Television as we know it was invented by a 14-year-old Idaho farmboy named Philo T. Farnsworth, who was plowing a wheatfield. This is true, in rows of parallel lines. And it occured to Philo that an image could also be sliced into rows of parallel lines and he patented that invention, and now thanks to Philo T. Farnsworth, we have Here Comes Honey Boo-Boo. Nice job, dumbass."