This week's episode of Pretty Little Liars,"The DArkest Knight," was guaranteed to be a good one. As producer Marlene King announced on Monday, this will be the final season of PLL (sigh), so we can expect some questions answered, shocking twists and a whole lot of action.
The episode opens by revealing the aftermath of Hanna hitting Noel Khan over the head, with her scathing, "It's over bitch." Things are never that simple when it comes to PLL, but we can already see in the first few seconds that the episode will be focused around Noel, and whether he really is A.D.
The girls plus — Mona and Caleb — are worried about Hanna, thinking she's been abducted, when in truth she is really the abductee. The liars can't track down Hanna because of Caleb's technological wizardry: Last episode, he had given her a new phone that can't be hacked. But his concern for Hannah gives a glimmer of hope to Haleb fans everywhere.
Cut to Hanna's "Wake up bitch" line, as she reveals more A-like qualities every minute. The scene flashes back to her torture at the beginning of the season, then back to her revenge as she inflicts some real pain by cutting Noel's leg to get blood for a DNA test to prove he's A.D. She's learned from the best.
The Liars, still in the dark about Hanna's whereabouts, have at last decided to turn to police first. The stunning move makes every fan wonder: Where the hell was this thinking over the the past 7 seasons?
Toby is here. Caleb is here. The cute detective Spencer made out with in an elevator is here. Spencer can't handle the sausage fest of her exes and potential lovers, and awkwardly kisses police guy on the check, highlighting their height difference.
Hanna calls Mona for back up. Mona saves the day as per usual, by finding the thumb drive, which could be the evidence they need to acquit Noel for the doll house. But Hanna isn't settling. "I want Noel to be accountable for everything he did," she said. "I'm going to prove he's A.D." — a pretty fair exchange for the electric cattle prod scars on her back.
Hanna practices her story, for both the police and apparently her friends. What IS she up to that the other liars can't know about? She and Mona leave Noel in the room by himself. How hard is it to 1) Ensure your evidence doesn't get stolen and 2) Keep your prisoners secure? Come on girls.
Caleb takes Hanna home and is totally acting like her boyfriend. In a cute-mock-angry spew, Caleb says, "You won't admit that we're meant to spend the rest of our lives together." It's the moment viewers have been waiting for, and god it's good.
Meanwhile, Emily is comforting Ali, who's just admitted she's pregnant with Archer Dunhill's child!! The pair gets pretty cozy in bed, and the pair share a tender kiss. Come morning, Paige shows up and seems pretty pissed. But like, what are you doing here, Paige?
Elsewhere, Toby is apparently acting as matchmaker for Spencer, as Halbel gets mega steamy in a move that is satisfying a lot of people. Somehow Spencer's love interests with both Caleb and now Detective Marco seem like mere bumps in the road, but Haleb is endgame. Or does Haleb's reunion infer that Spencer and Toby are destined to be, too?
Well, not all love stories have happy endings. As Spencer tells Toby she is happy for him, and that he deserves love, the pair share one last sad goodbye kiss, something Toby's fiancé surely would have something to say about. Aria's engagement to Ezra also isn't looking too certain, as Ezra embraces his ex and missing aid-worker Nicole on the news as she is found after being held hostage.
Hanna receives a call from the doctor, and would you look at that: Noel's blood sample not a match with Mary Drake's, which means someone else is her second child. The Liars go to the motel to find — surprise! – Noel has escaped. The girl are sent an invitation to swap Hanna's video camera for the missing thumb drive. The writers are throwing a lot at us, but they seem to be building the tension towards the end of the episode. Hold tight, bitches.
The swap point is an old school for the blind. We hear Jenna, who says, "I didn't loose my sight, you took it from me," before they exchange items. Things get creepy with door slams, odd artifacts and baby dolls, which highlight the underlying question of mothers' identities. "I feel like I just walked into Tim Burton's garage sale," Aria says.
Emily leaves her phone upstairs, proving that even after 7 years of abuse by various Big A/Original A/ Uber-A and multiple murders, she still hasn't learned the basic rules of snooping. While they go to retrieve it, Hanna and Emily are found by Noel. "You really think we'd let you leave?" he asks, rhetorically.
The other girls are faced by Jenna, who is holding a gun. Who knows how good her aim is ,but surely she could hear their footsteps. There's no phone service. It's not looking good.
"Now you see what I see," Jenna says, as she turns the lights off. Noel Khan says he always gets what he wants, but a tiff with Hanna ends up with him decapitated after falling on his own axe, proving that isn't the case. We're running out of possibilities for who A.D. could be, which means Uber-A is either a character we haven't seen in a while or worse, one of the main cast.
A gunshot hits Spencer, but as Jenna goes to finish her off, Mary Drake tackles her. Mary sings a lullaby and holds Spencer, saying "I would never hurt you. I'm your mother." WHAT? It's the shock of the season, as we scramble to work out Spencer's possible family tree.
As if we hadn't had enough, the scene cuts to Toby and Yvonne in a possibly fatal car accident.
Jenna, without glasses, lies in the back of another car driven by someone in a black hoodie and leather gloves, as she whispers "you're A.D."
It's all too much. Will Spencer survive till the end of Season 7? Is Alison carrying the spawn of A? And if Noel Kahn isn't A.D./Uber-A/whatever the name is (honestly it's been 7 seasons and I've lost track) then the question remains – who is A? See you in 8 months, bitches.