Freakshakes have taken over Instagram — too bad there's no filtering out the calories

Source: AP
Source: AP

Americans parted ways with milkshakes this year, and, thanks to Instagram, expected their blended ice cream creations to be topped with cookies, candies and even whole slices of cake in the beloved "freakshake," which is something that's just as scary as it sounds.

At the start of 2016, hardly prime milkshake season in the Northeast, New York's Black Tap drew hours-long waits for their viral, over-the-top milkshakes and freakshakes, which can cost $12 and were topped with chocolate chip ice cream sandwiches, face-sized lollipops, chunky slices of cake and more. 

A photo posted by (@) on

Black Tap hardly invented the freakshake: Pâtissez, a cafe in Canberra, Australia, gained Internet fame for its freakshakes in 2015, and the U.K. has a steady record of purveying freakshakes over the past year

While the freakshake trend may be a brilliant way to blend several desserts into one tall glass, it can't possibly be calorie-counter friendly.

A photo posted by (@) on

So how many calories are actually in a freakshake? We did the math for you, based on toppings and their average serving sizes, which are probably amped up in the ever-indulgent freakshake. Take the following calculations with a grain of salt:

— 15-ounce vanilla milkshake: 477 calories

— Vanilla ice cream (2 cups/scoops): 520 calories

— 4 chocolate chip cookies: 312 calories

— Fudge drizzle: 180 calories

— Whipped cream (1 cup): 154 calories

Assuming you don't like the extra cookie crumbs on the side... the grand total is 1643 calories! 

Other estimates set a Black Tap milkshake back at 1,600 calories so, yes, this is pretty spot on. 

If you want to drink almost your entire day's worth of calories in one sugary beverage, this is it! 

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Melissa Kravitz

Melissa Kravitz is a contributor for Mic. Her work has appeared on Thrillist, Mashable, Elite Daily, Time Out, Refinery29, Gothamist, Racked and more.

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