These 7 Halloween costumes are super sexist — but they don't need to be

Source: Yandy.com
Source: Yandy.com

Up until about 2000, women mostly had their pick of modest options for Halloween costumes. But in the last 16 years, sexy costumes have become so ubiquitous they've even developed subgenres.

There's the sexy professions genre, home to classics like the sexy police officer, sexy firefighter and sexy nurse. But this genre also gets more specific: Instead of just being your run-of-the mill sexy nurse, you could give "sexy army green nurse" or "cardiac arrest nurse" a try. Bored with being a sexy police officer in the suburbs? Try "sexy city cop" on for size. 

A "sexy" army nurse
Source: 
Yandy.com

Any costume with "sexy" in front of its name is assuredly one that's needlessly sexy — and by extension, it's sexist, since "sexy" costumes constitute women's only options for store-bought looks. 

But as retailers reach for something more creative than the French maid, the word "sexy" has all but lost its meaning. And certainly, none of us ever asked for a "sexy Harambe" costume, a concept as sexless as it is problematic

So, without further ado, Mic presents the following brief exploration of an emerging genre of "sexy" Halloween costumes: the costumes no one ever wanted to be sexy.

1. This sexy banana

Potassium has never been hotter, right?

A "sexy" banana
Source: 
Yandy.com

2. This sexy lobster (for 20% off!)

Because a pair of fuzzy lobster claws brings out every woman's inner sex goddess.

A "sexy" lobster
Source: 
Yandy.com

3. Sexy Patrick Star 

As though our childhoods haven't been ruined enough.

A "sexy" Patrick
Source: 
Yandy.com

4. Sexy Bert and Ernie

Ruined childhood, party of two.

"Sexy" Bert and Ernie
Source: 
Laughing Squid

5. A sexy goldfish

Nothing says sex appeal like a nice set of gills.

A "sexy" goldfish
Source: 
Halloweencostumes.com

6. Sexy... Snapchat?

We all know the dog filter makes us all look marginally more attractive for some twisted reason, but this is maybe a step too far.

"Sexy" Snapchat
Source: 
Yandy.com

7. Sexy corn husk 

Who can resist a healthy intake of vegetables?

"Sexy" corn on the cob
Source: 
Yandy.com

The ancient Celts didn't give the world Halloween so that one day we could type in "sexy" before any noun and come up with a viable costume idea. Halloween retailers, consider this an official plea: Think before you act.

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Marie Solis

Marie is a Slay staff writer with focuses in culture and class. Her writing has appeared in Gothamist and the Awl. You can reach her at marie@mic.com.

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