The Second Presidential Debate in Haikus

debate summaries in haiku format.

8:48 PM: 

Candy Crowley

Five Minutes to go
What am I holding? Questions
That's still allowed right?

9:00 PM:  

Candy Crowley:

Wearing Black tonight
Seemed like a good idea
Before I got here

9:04 PM: The Economy.

Mitt Romney: 

Jobs! I know this one! 
I've created them before
I'll do it again!

Obama:

Let's keep the jobs here!
That other guy hates GM
Balance, common sense

9:10 PM:

Romney:

I said bankruptcy
That's what he decided too
Totes my idea

Obama:

Remember Bain, Mitt?
I'll make sure these people do
Bad business practice

9:14 PM: Energy and the price of gas.

Obama:

Energy, from home
I'll bring it to this debate
And to your car too

Romney:

Full of gas indeed
Foreign gas from overseas
Doesn't surprise me

Obamney:

I want to talk now
I must prove I'm assertive
Remember Lehrer?

9:24 PM:

Crowd:

Black people are here
I could have sworn I saw one
Oh, he's on the stage

9:30 PM:

Romney:

Bring those rates right down
This will help small businesses
We can do better

Obama:

Tax cuts cost money
He knows nothing of fairness
He lacks specifics.

9:39 PM: Women's Equality in the Workplace.

Crowley:

Don't Lehrer me please
I have all of these questions
Let me ask them please

Obama:

Equality Ha!
Do you remember Day One?
Google Ledbetter

Romney:

A long time ago
I hired lots of women
We had jobs back then...

9:44 PM: Differences between you and G.W. Bush.

Romney:

My energy plan
More trade in the hemisphere
I'll help small business

Obama:

Ah President Bush
I'm still cleaning up his mess
Romney will outsource

9:51 PM: Why should I vote for you again? Subtext: Undecided Black voter.

Obama:

I make commitments
I keep those commitments too
You won't like Romney's

Romney:

You know what you'll get
Four more years of the same stuff
And it will get worse

9:55 PM: Immigration.

Romney:

My Mexican dad
Was a legal immigrant
Let's have more of that

Obama:

Immigrants and laws
We should honor both of them
Reform the system

Romney:

Self Deportation
Let's not talk about pensions
Your's is just as bad

Obama:

Bipartisanship
Whatever happened to that 
My team is lined up

10:00PM: Question on Libyan Diplomatic attack.

Obama:

Commander-in Chief
Means I meet lots of coffins
I'm responsible


Romney:

This guy knew nothing
And fundraised on the clock
Look around the world


10:05 PM: Is Sec. Clinton responsible for attacks?

Obama:

The buck stops right here
Don't accuse me of bad stuff
That is offensive!


Crosstalk:

R: Was it Terror?
O: Why don't you check the transcript?
C: Barack wins this one


10:15 PM: Gun violence.

Obama:

I believe in guns
But Gun violence gets old
Enforce current laws


Obama:

I'm from Chicago
We need a broad strategy
That's comprehensive


10:20PM

Romney:

I won't pass gun laws
But I'll support families
Fast and Furious!

Romney:

I passed laws before
Because everyone agreed
This is NOT the same

Obama:

Education, folks!
I've done some really great stuff!
Let me speak, woman!


10:29 PM: How can we bring jobs back here?

Romney:

Make us attractive
That will bring jobs back from abroad
Slash regulations


CROWLEY (Internal dialogue):

Where did the Time Go?
I hope I did a good job
Find me on Twitter?

Obama:

Change the tax code
And keep increasing exports
Like I have done

10:34 Manufacturing in the US.

Romney:  Let's all play fair
Obama: How much time do we have left?
Obama: Smart investments here.

Sometime around 10:40 PM Biggest misperception?

Romney:

I'm not a bad guy
Never mind that video
I know what to do

Obama:

I will fight for you!
100% of you!
Not 47

Pundits:

They're done talking now
Let's start analyzing them
Until the next one

Yankees:

Let's score some runs now
We can't lose to the Tigers
People might see this!

Raul Ibanez:

Sorry about that
Alas. I am but one man
We'll win the next one.

How likely are you to make Mic your go-to news source?

Chad Bascombe

Backwards never, Occasionally clever, Brooklyn forever. Proud American University Eagle, lover of maps.

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