At long last, the third and final presidential debate of 2012 is here. Tonight at 9pm, Barack Obama and Mitt Romney will participate in their last head-to-head bull session of the presidential campaign. The focus of the debate is foreign policy, which means that Romney will attempt to cast the president as an ineffectual leader who doesn’t have what it takes to make the 21st century “an American century.” Given that Obama’s approach to foreign affairs has been generally hawkish, that also means that Romney will sound like a crazy person. Expect the former Massachusetts governor to be in top blustering form.
And so, the only way to really deal with the staggering amounts of pure bullshit that will be slung around by the candidates tonight, is with healthy doses of libations!
WARNING: Drinking heavily during presidential debates may cause liver damage and lead to political arguments that are even more incoherent than those heard on cable news.
Whenever the candidates say the following words or phrases during the debate, take a drink the for duration of time indicated.
THE GIMMEES (1 second)
"Benghazi" or "Libya"
THE PROBABLES (2 seconds)
"Our friends and allies"
THE QUESTIONABLES (3 seconds)
"Lead(ing) from behind"
THE DOUBTFULS (5 seconds)
"Act(s) of terror"
THE BLACKOUT-INDUCERS (10 seconds)