What Romney Foreign Policy Has in Common With "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia"

I'm not going to lie. I have never taken Mitt Romney completely seriously as a candidate, but tonight's debate on foreign policy took away any shred (however small) of confidence that I would not have to move to Cananda should he somehow win this election. He has always looked like a strange robotic conglomerate of stock polititian past. On Monday, when he was waiting to respond to the President, he sort of looked like a robot in "power down" mode. 

Not to say that his massive fail of a performance will be represented in tomorrow's polls. After all, America does have a lot of fans of Battleship (not the movie of course, that bombed) and one of the things we learned tonight is that bombs are bad, very bad. But seriously when the man spoke on foriegn policy all I could think of was the 4th season finale of "It's Aways Sunny In Philadelphia" called "The Nightman Cometh." It ended with a song called "Day Man" whose lyrics went a little like this:

"DayMan!/ AHHHHH/ Master of the Night Man/ AHHHH!/ Champion of the Sun!/ Your a master of Karate and friendship for everyone!"

I feel like the lyrics of the song pretty much encapsulate Romney's proposed approach to foreign policy. He will make sure we strengthen out friendships with China and Israel, even when those relationships are strained or tested (like they are at times with all economic and political BFFS), but also that will kill bad guys, cripple threatening foreign economies with santions, and remain the "Hope of the World." Of course, if you are looking for the specifics of how he would actually accomplish any of those things ... well just trust him. I mean, this is a man who ran a state where the 8th graders were at the top of the country in spelling & math. BOTH. Obviously he is super qualified to navigate the water of internatioal crises. He's a master of friendship for everyone.

How likely are you to make Mic your go-to news source?

Blakely Thornton

University of Pennsylvania grad currently living in New York by way of Dallas, Texas. Background in finance. Creator of ywwr.tumblr.com, a pop culture/entertainment blog. Trying to get people to think caring is cool... but with a casual air of nonchalance.

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